Anders Behring Breivik: Super Trouper

Jay…Matt-Man…IWS Readers…Everyone’s fave Dutch news hound, Guy Ahnyurdyck here with an update on the fanatic fjordian and homegrown Norwegian terrorist, Anders Behring Breivik.

A cacophony of criminal profilers and psychiatric types have poured over his lengthy online manifesto in hopes of gaining insight in to what lead to this Madmanavian’s massacration of dozens of free-thinking youth on the isle of Utoya, and heathenistic Oslonians within the capital city of Norge.

Many have speculated that Breivik suffered from an over-zealous hatred of Muslims and was in his mind trying to keep Norway safe from dirty, non-bacon eating Muslims in the name of Christianity, but that theory was quickly blown out of the water by FOX News when they reported…

Christians do not kill out of hate!!

Upon hearing that report from FOX and Friends anchor, and Murrowesque journalist Steve Doocy, I knew it was up to me to fill the vacuum and discover the true reasoning and motive behind the shootings of one, Anders Behring Breivik, or as I refer to him…

The Killer Who is but One Initial Away from Being a One Man ABBA Band…

And that my friends is a fact of foreshadowing that illuminated the reasons behind the Ogre of Oslo going on a rampage.

Being the award-winning journalist that I am, I broke into I was welcomed into Mr. Breivik’s flat and discovered something that sent my synapses into super happy Chinese fireworks mode.

Breivik’s flat was littered with ABBA albums, ABBA posters, and ABBA news articles. Big deal you say?

It is a big deal because as this nose for the news noticed, one Anni-Frid Lyngstad’s vocals, pictures, and mentions among the Swedish supergroup’s paraphernalia were completely erased and/or marked out.

I also came across his diary and was truly touched by an entry from 1982 where he was immobilized by tears when ABBA broke up. He blamed the break-up on the one Norwegian in the band…

The lone non-Swede, the only non blue-eyed blonde, and the last “A” in the band ABBA, one Anni-Frid Lyngstad.

From that day forward, his diary became full of entries in reference to taking out his frustration of the break-up of ABBA on non-Scandinavian looking Norwegians, as well as one day singing Dancing Queen with Agnetha, Benny, and Bjorn.

And now, you see what I do…

Anders Behring Breivik is not a radical, right-wing Christian, hell bent on destroying Islam.

Anders is but a musical purist who merely wants to be the last “A” in ABBA.

Is that so wrong?

This is Guy Ahnyurdyck, tossing it back to you guys…on the website.