Saturday, March 31, 2012
6000 Posts
Yes it's true, there appears to be no end to this drivel. I have now made 6000 posts on the blog since 2002, and although I have rather slowed down of late, the blog still isn't dead.
IWS Babe of the Week: Palm Sunday
That's right kids, we enter the holiest of Holy weeks today as the Easter season rears its frond filled ugly head with Palm Sunday.
However, since we are enjoying Palm Sunday and Christ's impending death and subsequent Resurrection, how about enjoying some hot babes hugging on Palm Trees?
Like this dark haired lovely...
And this, Tatooed for Christ amber haired vixen...
And this chick, who is just so damn gorgeous she can lay on a Palm Tree and phone it in...
And then? We have Natalie Gulbis, huggin' a root and...Celebrating Christ's entrance into Jerusalem by gettin half naked for all of us...
Don't forget y'all...Today at Noon ET, Jayman and I will be interviewing Dana who is 47 and Mike who is 27, about their intense romantic relationship.
What are the concerns over the age issue? Will Mike get his Driver's License prior to Dana getting her AARP card? Will Dana's son end up with a Daddy brother?
We will ask these questions and also delve into some more serious questions about May-December relationships with these two lovebirds today at Noon ET on I'm With Stupid during our, "Rock the Cradle of Love Show.".
You can join us live today at Noon ET by clicking HERE.
Happy Palm Sunday!!
Friday, March 30, 2012
What Did Rick Santorum Almost Say in Janesville? March 27, 2012
Does Santorum call Barack Obama a nigger ? Or am I just hearing things ?
Stupid Ilkley People
I had gone to Golden Butts Recycling centre, my car filled with half a dozen bin bags of cans and plastic bottles and as I was unloading my car a black 4WD pulls up and a lady gets out with a carrier bag. The lady stopped to read the instructions on the side of the plastics container, which clearly states "No yoghurt pots" and then proceeded to post dozens of yoghurt pots into the skip. Stupid.
Just as stupid is the lady I once saw there pulling up in her Toyota Landcruiser Planetdestroyer, who then got a single empty bottle of Ty Nant from the boot to recycle. 1 trip to recycling centre in giant petrol guzzling 4WD to recycle a single bottle = stupid.
While I am having a general rant about the people who live in my town, how about Mums driving their children to school. I often hear people say that the roads are far busier than they used to be and that consequently it isn't as safe as it used to be for children to walk to school. Well, if you stand at the Dalesway traffic lights in a morning as all the Ilkley kids are being driven to school you will be able to see for yourself why the roads are so dangerous - it's Ilkley Mums talking on their hand held mobile phones while driving through town with a car load of kids. Seriously folks, who can afford a Lexus RX450 but cannot afford a hands free kit to go with it ?
Just as stupid is the lady I once saw there pulling up in her Toyota Landcruiser Planetdestroyer, who then got a single empty bottle of Ty Nant from the boot to recycle. 1 trip to recycling centre in giant petrol guzzling 4WD to recycle a single bottle = stupid.
Hot Rock Folk Chicks - Katriona Gilmore
Mat Said Jay Said XXXII
Matt переговоры, Jay переговоры, You слушать.
Matt: “Why hello there young man!”
Jay: “Howdy Do!”
Matt: *bang* “Owe! Damn!”
Jay: “What the hell man?”
Matt: “I just banged my knee on the desk.”
Jay: “Dumb ass.”
Matt: “That was hurtful.”
Jay: “Well yeah, the knee is sensitive.”
Matt: “I was talking about YOU.”
Jay: “Me?? Insensitive? No way, I’m sweet ask anyone.”
Matt: “Oh I know. I’ve heard non-stop how sweet you are.”
Jay: “See?”
Matt: “And I’m thinking it’s about time to set the record STRAIGHT!”
Jay: “Now THAT hurts.”
Jay: “Howdy Do!”
Matt: *bang* “Owe! Damn!”
Jay: “What the hell man?”
Matt: “I just banged my knee on the desk.”
Jay: “Dumb ass.”
Matt: “That was hurtful.”
Jay: “Well yeah, the knee is sensitive.”
Matt: “I was talking about YOU.”
Jay: “Me?? Insensitive? No way, I’m sweet ask anyone.”
Matt: “Oh I know. I’ve heard non-stop how sweet you are.”
Jay: “See?”
Matt: “And I’m thinking it’s about time to set the record STRAIGHT!”
Jay: “Now THAT hurts.”
Jay: “We have decent blog traffic, but we need more comments.”
Matt: “I agree. Comments and interacting with people is part of the fun.”
Jay: “Of course, you know the only way to get comments…”
Matt: “I know, we have to comment on other blogs more.”
Jay: “So, I was thinking we could assign each of us blogs to comment on.”
Matt: “How many”
Jay: “I don’t know. Like 5 or 6 each day, but not the same ones every day.”
Matt: “Oh yeah, that way there’s no overlap and we can hit lots of blogs.”
Jay: “Right.”
Matt: “Okay, we should find blogs we like and then figure out the schedule.”
Jay: “Good idea. I’ll take the blogs written by Asian chicks.”
Matt: “Ha! Of course you will!”
Jay: “You can have all the longwinded people who write like 2,000 words a day.”
Matt: “Uh, I think we might need to balance this out a bit.”
Jay: “Oh, okay. That’s cool. I’m all about fairness.”
Matt: “I agree. Comments and interacting with people is part of the fun.”
Jay: “Of course, you know the only way to get comments…”
Matt: “I know, we have to comment on other blogs more.”
Jay: “So, I was thinking we could assign each of us blogs to comment on.”
Matt: “How many”
Jay: “I don’t know. Like 5 or 6 each day, but not the same ones every day.”
Matt: “Oh yeah, that way there’s no overlap and we can hit lots of blogs.”
Jay: “Right.”
Matt: “Okay, we should find blogs we like and then figure out the schedule.”
Jay: “Good idea. I’ll take the blogs written by Asian chicks.”
Matt: “Ha! Of course you will!”
Jay: “You can have all the longwinded people who write like 2,000 words a day.”
Matt: “Uh, I think we might need to balance this out a bit.”
Jay: “Oh, okay. That’s cool. I’m all about fairness.”
Jay: “So Dana and Mike are coming on to talk May-December relationships.”
Matt: “Will Mike be out of his Sunday School class in time?”
Jay: “Yeah, the youngest go early.”
Matt: “Excellent!”
Jay: “At the pace we’re going, we might run out of jokes before the show.”
Matt: “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Jay: “I’m sure we’ll have enough ammo.”
Matt: “I can make juvenile jokes to infinity.”
Jay: “That’s why you’re so popular.”
Matt: “It’s almost a burden.”
Jay: “I have no doubt.”
Matt: “So we’ll “Rock the Cradle of Love?”
Jay: “Yup, and Dana can talk about being a Cougar.”
Matt: “This is gonna be a HUGE show!”
Jay: “Even by our standards, this will be pretty big!”
Matt: “Will Mike be out of his Sunday School class in time?”
Jay: “Yeah, the youngest go early.”
Matt: “Excellent!”
Jay: “At the pace we’re going, we might run out of jokes before the show.”
Matt: “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Jay: “I’m sure we’ll have enough ammo.”
Matt: “I can make juvenile jokes to infinity.”
Jay: “That’s why you’re so popular.”
Matt: “It’s almost a burden.”
Jay: “I have no doubt.”
Matt: “So we’ll “Rock the Cradle of Love?”
Jay: “Yup, and Dana can talk about being a Cougar.”
Matt: “This is gonna be a HUGE show!”
Jay: “Even by our standards, this will be pretty big!”
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Why Latinas Rock
Hola Amigos and Amigas! Earlier this week we had a couple of great discussions here on the blog. First, I explained to the world why Asian Chicks Rule. Then Dim did his best to tell us why he loves White Chicks. Well, today I’m here to sing the praises of Latinas!
They Can Dance: I got news for you guys. Shakira and Jennifer Lopez are the rule and not the exception when it comes to Latin babes. These girls were born shimmying. Have you ever noticed how they can shake their hips AND NOTHING ELSE? These are the kinds of things I notice often. And let me tell, that kind of rhythm, flexibility and high energy is very exciting.
They’re Exotic and Voluptuous: Latinas come in many different shades and sizes. They can range from very petite to very curvaceous. They, like Asians, have beautiful dark hair and smoldering dark eyes. But, Latinas usually have some junk in the trunk. And let me tell ya, they know how to work it! Just watching Latinas walking around, giggling and shaking, is almost more than I can take.
Here’s why Latinas rock:
They Can Cook: Latin food is the BOMB! I’m not talking about the bastardized Mexican or Latin foods you find in the US. Or even that “Southwestern” crap. I’m talking about the real stuff. And once you have real Latin food, you don’t bother with the fake crap anymore. I have a friend who told her mother that she at Mexican food every day for a week. Her mother asked “Who could eat Mexican food every single day?” Her reply was “Mexicans?” Ha! Yeah, Mexicans and me!
They’re Feisty. Latinas don’t put up with our shit. Once they’ve had enough, they let you know loudly and forcefully. They stomp around the house. They yell. They scream. They kick things. They yell at you in Spanish. They yell at you in English. They mix English and Spanish. And you know what? THAT is very exciting too.
They’re Friendly and Outgoing: Latinas have a great sense of humor and are very funny. In fact, they probably lead the world in unintentional funniness. Maybe it’s the way they say things, but sometimes even when they’re not trying they just crack me up. Also, they’re very accepting of everyone not snobbish at all. They consider everyone their friend until proven otherwise. On top of that, they’re always ready for a good social outing where they can talk, eat, dance and just be themselves and have a good time. Their great attitude towards life and general friendliness usually makes them the life of the party.
So, as you can see, when talking about awesome chicks, you can hardly go wrong with Latinas. They are the perfect combination of hotness, smarts and personality. And, anytime you go to any kind of social gathering and see some Latinas there, you know it’s gonna be a fun night! Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
--
In other news, what would cause a smoking hawt, young Jewish girl to feel the need to duck into a closet and call into the “Hoodies and Skittles” episode of I’m With Stupid? Could it have been our discussion of Geraldo Rivera’s idiocy? How ‘bout Matt-Man’s impressions of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton? Or was it our clever and witty “Molotov Mocktails?”
Well, you’ll just have to listen to the EPIC show from Wednesday and find out!
Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio
Classic Book #2
My goal for 2012 is to read not only 50 books (which was the goal I achieved for 2011) but to also have 10 of those books be classics. I've never been a big reader of classics so I find myself totally out of the loop when people start talking Jane Austen or Grapes of Wrath. Of Mice and Men and Lolita are 2 of my top 5 favorite books of all time but it's not enough. I kick started this goal by reading Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell in January. In case you didn't know, I've become a bit obsessed with all things GWTW now. It was fabulous and I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone. Don't be scared by the giant page count! It's totally worth it.
Since I finished Gone with the Wind, I've been a big hesitant to start another classic. I wasn't sure what to choose, nothing seemed interesting, I didn't want another 1000 page book, and compared to Scarlett, everything seemed so dense. I decided to just go with the first book that came to mind that I've had a weird desire to read and never have. I distinctly remember picking this up in ELEMENTARY school (maybe 5th grade?) for some reason and making it through about 3 pages before putting it back on the library shelf. side note- way to push your reading boundaries, young Madeline... I haven't picked it up since..until now
My classic book #2! I officially started it last night and I'm already a little hooked. To be honest, I read the first 2 pages yesterday morning and thought "ugh, this is hard and boring already" but was convinced by my co-worker, Melissa, to give it a couple pages. She promised me that I would be sucked in and love it. I trust her so I gave it a shot! I'm only about 20 pages in but I wish I was reading it right now....
Anyone else have any reading goals for the year? Anyone ADORE Wuthering Heights? Anyone HATE it?
Since I finished Gone with the Wind, I've been a big hesitant to start another classic. I wasn't sure what to choose, nothing seemed interesting, I didn't want another 1000 page book, and compared to Scarlett, everything seemed so dense. I decided to just go with the first book that came to mind that I've had a weird desire to read and never have. I distinctly remember picking this up in ELEMENTARY school (maybe 5th grade?) for some reason and making it through about 3 pages before putting it back on the library shelf. side note- way to push your reading boundaries, young Madeline... I haven't picked it up since..until now
My classic book #2! I officially started it last night and I'm already a little hooked. To be honest, I read the first 2 pages yesterday morning and thought "ugh, this is hard and boring already" but was convinced by my co-worker, Melissa, to give it a couple pages. She promised me that I would be sucked in and love it. I trust her so I gave it a shot! I'm only about 20 pages in but I wish I was reading it right now....
Anyone else have any reading goals for the year? Anyone ADORE Wuthering Heights? Anyone HATE it?
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Mega Millions Up To 500 Million !!
You know what tomorrow is?
Okay, okay…yes it’s Friday, and many of you are saying, “Thank God tomorrow is Friday.”
However…
Tomorrow is also, (cue the trumpets, and release the pigeons, or doves, or whatever) it is also, Mega Millions Friiiiiiiiiiiday.
Why do I say that..?
One who rarely plays the Lottery, games of chance (other than with questionable women), or throws good money after bad (except when there is a sale on Wild Irish Rose)?
Because my friends, here in the United States of America, the Mega Millions jackpot is up to, now get this…
Not a mere 500 Million Dollars, no, no…A winning ticket on Friday will be worth, half a BILLION Dollars.
Half a Billion for Godssakes!!
Who in their right mind, or special needs mind for that matter, wouldn’t want to be a, Half A Billionaire?
Okay…there are some utopian seeking, vegan eating, “Ima gonna change the world” Liberal idealists out there who would say:
“Ooooooo, Hot Shot…Half a Billion…You may be rich, but that money can’t buy you love and happiness.”
Ha…You know what this meat eating Liberal would say to people of that ilk if I won all that cash?
“Yes it can; now watch as I show you how it can buy happiness as you eat granola, drink rain water, and gorge on some asparagus, while I have a steak, a bottle of champagne, and throw my self -respect into the street along with my empty bottle of Dom Perignon, loser.”
Damn right…If I win the Mega Millions Friday, I may become the biggest asshole in the world. Not in a bad way mind you. I wouldn’t act all uppity n’shit, but to some, I would be considered an “instant rich asshole“, however…
I would be amplifying what I already do, and how I act.
I wouldn’t allow anyone to tell me what I could and could not do within their moral dictates…I wouldn’t be afraid of certain things, and certain people. I wouldn’t hesitate to speak my mind.
Writing and doing the radio show with Jayman is what I enjoy doing, what I want to do, what I was born to do, and with a half a Billion dollars, I could finance that dream.
Home truly is where the hearts is, but it would be nice to get out of this apartment, which isn’t bad mind you, and get a small place of our own for my BFF/OSP, Schmoop and I…
A place that is big enough to throw some raucous parties but not so big that we and our newly hired, illegal alien property staff are tied to.
Having half a Billion dollars would provide me and several of my close friends opportunities to go kiss the Blarney Stone, revel in the warm embraces of underage Bangkok hookers, and travel to Vatican City in order to tell Blitzkrieg Benny that his Papal hat fits the shape of penis looking head perfectly.
Man, those would be some good times.
So yeah, having all that money would be nice, because in spite of all the partying and superficial things I would do with it, I’d have millions left over to help many others in a profound and significant way.
I like that…that makes me happy, however as it was pointed out earlier, some folks say money can’t buy happiness.
In spite of saying that I would be happy, and while I initially scoffed at the statement, ultimately, I agree.
Money cannot buy a person happiness, but that much money can buy a person a whole helluva lot of freedom to be themselves.
And Friday, if I, or you, or whoever, wins that money…we will see quickly what they do with it. And what he or she does with it will give us an insight as to whether they were and are a happy person to begin with or not.
Many people have said, “The eyes are the windows to the soul.”
Ha...fuck that. Having just won a Half a Billion Dollars is a far more accurate barometer of what lies within one's soul.
Good Luck on the Mega Millions, and…
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws
Okay, okay…yes it’s Friday, and many of you are saying, “Thank God tomorrow is Friday.”
However…
Tomorrow is also, (cue the trumpets, and release the pigeons, or doves, or whatever) it is also, Mega Millions Friiiiiiiiiiiday.
Why do I say that..?
One who rarely plays the Lottery, games of chance (other than with questionable women), or throws good money after bad (except when there is a sale on Wild Irish Rose)?
Because my friends, here in the United States of America, the Mega Millions jackpot is up to, now get this…
Not a mere 500 Million Dollars, no, no…A winning ticket on Friday will be worth, half a BILLION Dollars.
Half a Billion for Godssakes!!
Who in their right mind, or special needs mind for that matter, wouldn’t want to be a, Half A Billionaire?
Okay…there are some utopian seeking, vegan eating, “Ima gonna change the world” Liberal idealists out there who would say:
“Ooooooo, Hot Shot…Half a Billion…You may be rich, but that money can’t buy you love and happiness.”
Ha…You know what this meat eating Liberal would say to people of that ilk if I won all that cash?
“Yes it can; now watch as I show you how it can buy happiness as you eat granola, drink rain water, and gorge on some asparagus, while I have a steak, a bottle of champagne, and throw my self -respect into the street along with my empty bottle of Dom Perignon, loser.”Damn right…If I win the Mega Millions Friday, I may become the biggest asshole in the world. Not in a bad way mind you. I wouldn’t act all uppity n’shit, but to some, I would be considered an “instant rich asshole“, however…
I would be amplifying what I already do, and how I act.
I wouldn’t allow anyone to tell me what I could and could not do within their moral dictates…I wouldn’t be afraid of certain things, and certain people. I wouldn’t hesitate to speak my mind.
Writing and doing the radio show with Jayman is what I enjoy doing, what I want to do, what I was born to do, and with a half a Billion dollars, I could finance that dream.
Home truly is where the hearts is, but it would be nice to get out of this apartment, which isn’t bad mind you, and get a small place of our own for my BFF/OSP, Schmoop and I…
A place that is big enough to throw some raucous parties but not so big that we and our newly hired, illegal alien property staff are tied to.
Having half a Billion dollars would provide me and several of my close friends opportunities to go kiss the Blarney Stone, revel in the warm embraces of underage Bangkok hookers, and travel to Vatican City in order to tell Blitzkrieg Benny that his Papal hat fits the shape of penis looking head perfectly.
Man, those would be some good times.
So yeah, having all that money would be nice, because in spite of all the partying and superficial things I would do with it, I’d have millions left over to help many others in a profound and significant way.
I like that…that makes me happy, however as it was pointed out earlier, some folks say money can’t buy happiness.
In spite of saying that I would be happy, and while I initially scoffed at the statement, ultimately, I agree.Money cannot buy a person happiness, but that much money can buy a person a whole helluva lot of freedom to be themselves.
And Friday, if I, or you, or whoever, wins that money…we will see quickly what they do with it. And what he or she does with it will give us an insight as to whether they were and are a happy person to begin with or not.
Many people have said, “The eyes are the windows to the soul.”
Ha...fuck that. Having just won a Half a Billion Dollars is a far more accurate barometer of what lies within one's soul.
Good Luck on the Mega Millions, and…
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Newt Gingrich's Future in the Romney Administration
Holaaaaaa! Well, our good friend and I’m With Stupid listener and reader, Newt Gingrich has once again showed us all what an unconventional candidate for president he is. He is now charging $50 for people who want their picture taken with him. You know, strippers usually only charge $25. Well, unless they’re a “feature” or porn star. Even then they usually let you grab their boobs or they grab your junk to make it fun and worth it.
Not only is Newt doing that, but he’s hinting that he might be ready to get out of the race. There’s only one catch though. He will only get out if he was offered the right position in the Romney administration. Only Newt Gingrich could finish Dead Fucking Last, be millions in debt in his campaign and then put special conditions on his getting out of the race.
So, I thought I would list a few jobs that Newt could possibly be offered:
White House Greeter:Mitt isn’t very good at dealing with regular people, but Newt is great at it! Newt is just your average every day guy and was born to be a greeter. He could put on a comfy track suit and maybe a red or blue vest with a nametag that says “Newtie” on it and greet people on behalf of the White House. Also, kids love him and will love it when he puts a little smiley sticker on their cheeks.
Valet and Car Elevator Operator: When Romney isn’t on the road campaigning and at the White House presidentin’, Newt could work as the Valet at the Romney’s La Jolla, CA mansion that is being built. Hell, the Romney’s have a big enough family that even when they aren’t entertaining big shots, they’ll need a valet. And, of course they’ll need someone to run theCAR ELEVATOR that is being installed at the new home.
Romney Administration Historian: We all know that Newt is a historian who has been paid big money to give advice to companies like Fannie Mae on historical events and stuff. So, this is basically right up his alley. Hell, they could probably even find him an office in the basement of the White House to use. He could sit down there and offer a daily recorded history of the happenings of the Romney administration. Since Newt has no problem just making shit up, you can be sure it would all be really positive, but someone will have to review his work as he tends to get a little self-aggrandizing at times.
White House Enemy Insulter and Race-Baiter: Mitt is uncomfortable being mean to people. He prefers to keep a pleasant attitude about things and be the polite gentleman that he is. Newt on the other hand doesn’t have a lot of social skills and generally just says whatever is on his mind. So, whenever President Romney is angry with someone, he could just send Newt out to belittle them and infer that the person in question is of questionable heritage and limited intellectual capabilities. And, to keep the republican base stirred up, Mitt can send Newt out to go after blacks and Hispanics with thinly veiled racists attacks. This allows Mitt to keep his image as a thoughtful and considerate man, while keeping things stirred up.
Ambassador to the Vatican: Hey, you guys let him convert, he’s yours now.
So, as you can see, there are several ways that Newt could be of use to Willard. If Willard is the brilliant tactician and businessman he always claims to be, he should make an offer to Newt and start taking advantage of Newt’s unique skillset immediately.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Why White Chicks Rule...A Webuttal
Gweetings and Zǎo Shàng Hǎo most wespected weaders of I’m With Stupid.Dim Sum Woks here.
I am official Asian Dude of Indeterminate Nationality of IWS, and I have most deep and pwofound webuttal of Jayman’s post, Why Asian Chicks Rule. (Rule? Funny spellring, ask Matt-Man about.)
Ret me say it wight here and now...Asian Chicks, No Wule. HA-ho.
Jayman say Asian chicks are substantive. It no can be for Asian chick to be substantive when rivving on diet of wice and bok choy. Skinny Asian girl bro in wind rike a fousand wipples acwoss angwy rake. HA-ho.
White girl stay anchored to ground. White girl body fed with gwain and beef. White girl body full of curves and soft, cushy rayers of sexiness and carbohydwates. Dim ruv cushiness of white girl. HA-ho.
Jayman say Asian chicks are foughtful and considerwate…Jayman never spend one night in Bangkok wif Thai hooker.
Even the innocent rooking teenage hookers reave one with nothing but heartache, empty pockets, and a scwotum full of bed bugs. HA-ho. Dim no likey. White chicks however…They aim to prease. Sometimes, white chicks want to film the fun without ever asking for money, all the while praying joyful game they call, Brackmail!! HA-ho.
Jayman call Asian chicks, “exotic.” Dim no think Asian chick exotic, unress one is carnival barker wanting to open circus with chicks who rook rike chopsticks. White chicks? Dim find them mooooost exotic.
White chicks have big wound eyes…Big wound bottoms…and big wound boobies. Jayman pwobably think Mt. Everwest is exotic, why he no rikey Everwest sized boobies? HA-ho.
Jayman craim that White chicks hate Asian chicks. Well? White chicks should hate Asian chicks.
Asian chicks alrays be talking smack behind their backs in Korean, Mandarin, or Lao whenever a white chick is having a manicure, a pedicure, or their sheets turned down by Taiwanese hotel maid.
White chicks speak upfwont, with no secwets. White chicks rike to say to man, “We need to talk.” White chicks rike to talk and not hide feerings. White chicks verwy verwy crear about feerings. HA-ho.
Jayman espouse virtue of Asian chicks being funny. Asian chicks no funny. Asian chicks alrays mysterwious and intwospective rike Twansylvanian gypsy. They see nothing but groom and doom.
White chicks ALRAYS super happy and super funny. White chicks say to Dim, “Is that the Communist Manifesto in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”
When Dim hears that, Dim alrays ROR….White chicks cwack me up. HA-ho.Rastry…Jayman say Asian chicks are ruving and accepting…Nothing could be further fwom the truth.
Asian chicks just expwess their ruv so they can get out of the wice paddies and into a dwy home. I understand not wanting to spend day in Bangann Wice Terrwaces, but they should be upfwont about it.
White chicks are not rike that. White chicks say upfwont:
“I’m 49 years old, never married, and I may have forgotten to take my birth control pill. I love you long time.”
Dim rike gusto and courwage of white chicks.
White chicks Wuuuuuuule!! HA-Ho.
And then again my fwiends…Dim not compretely dissing Asian chicks, after all…
If Dim find White chicks super happy and hot, Dim rikes…
Cauc-ASIANS!!
HA-ho...
Mai mốt gặp lại,
Dim Sum Woks
neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws
Another Way To Lose An Hour
Feeling like you don't have enough ways to waste an hour or more of your day? Simply can't find enough to look at online? Or you just kinda like snarky websites that talk about entertainment, fashion, books, puppies, etc?
Check out The Frisky
Check out The Frisky
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Why Asian Chicks Rule
Hola bishes! So, I have often times been asked what it is I love so much about Asian chicks. Normally, I’m asked this question by bitter, angry middle aged white women whose best days are behind them. Of course, I’m always taken aback by these questions because I can’t believe anyone wouldn’t love Asian chicks.
They’re Substantive: Unlike their white counterparts, Asian chicks are not superficial and shallow. They are women of substance. They educate themselves and prefer to be known for the things they accomplish in the intellectual and artistic fields rather than just being famous only for being famous.
They’re Thoughtful and Considerate: Asian girls aren’t self-absorbed like most white women are. Asian chicks actually think about others more than they do themselves. They genuinely care about your wellbeing and don’t find a way to make everything about them like white chicks do. Asian chicks are actually capable of feeling empathy for other people and aren’t dismissive of others. They’re sweet, caring and never rude and hateful like white chicks.
They’re Exotic: While white women tend to be pretty basic, Asians are often times very exotic. Their beautiful shiny black hair and smoldering dark eyes are just down right sexy. Not to mention their perfect little bums and beautiful legs. They don’t have to pile on makeup and have tons of cosmetic surgeries to look any certain way. Asian women are just so naturally alluring that they don’t have to do anything other than just be themselves to be sexy.
White Women Hate Them: If you want to get white women all riled up, just talk about how hawt Asian Chicks are. Nothing makes a white woman lose it faster than that. They start screaming uncontrollably about how much they hate Asian Chicks and start calling them names and insulting them. It’s really sad to see that kind of jealously and racism from anyone and only serves to prove the overall superiority of Asian girls as they would NEVER speak so horribly about white chicks in the same manner. And let me tell ya kids, I will get LOTS of flack over this post, but I don’t care. The truth hurts sometimes.
They Have a Sense of Humor: Asian chicks are funny. They love to laugh. And, most importantly they think I’m funny. Sure, some white chicks are funny, but usually it’s a “mean funny.” You know, they can only be funny by making fun of others or saying mean things about others. However, Asian chicks are genuinely funny and can make jokes about anything at all and don’t have to resort to belittling others.
Asian Chicks are Loving and Accepting: Again, unlike white chicks, Asian women accept people for who they are. They don’t demand people act or look a certain way. They see the inner goodness and beauty of others. This is something most white women just don’t understand. White women make all kinds of demands on people and try to force people to fit their idea of what they should be. Asian women asses who you are accept that and love you for you and what you are without condition. THIS is really the most important reason that Asian chicks totally rule!
So, as you can see, there really isn’t much argument to this. Asian chicks totally freaking rule. While it is true that there are a few white chicks who rock too, mostly ones who are really talented, smart or mixed race, most of them just don’t stack up to the overall awesomeness of Asian babes.
--
In other news yesterday on IWS Matt-Man and I broke down and analyzed The Hunger Games like no one else ever has. Then we discussed things that we hunger for and let me tell, that was a pretty impressive list of stuff from the tangible to the “oh you’re just dreaming now.” It was another quality 45 minutes of Awesome Sauce that will satisfy all your hungers. Hell, this show was so damn good that even Dana got her first ever “Hey-OOOO.” So, how could you not listen? You gotta!
Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Babe of the Week: Jennifer Lawrence
The entire staff of IWS Media Group has voted unanimously to name Jennifer Lawrence as our Babe of the Week!
While some comedy-challenged folks might have first noticed Jennifer on TBS’ Bill Engvall Show, for most people she burst onto the scene with her amazing performance in Winter’s Bone for which she received an Academy Award nomination.
Since then we’ve found that not only is Mz Lawrence, or as I call her “J-Law” beautiful and talented, she’s also a really sweet down to Earth person who has a great sense of humor. That’s a combination that makes her a natural for IWS.
And now she’s the lead in the blockbuster hit of the year The Hunger Games.
All of this combines to make Jennifer Lawrence someone everyone here at IWS hungers for! Congrats J-Law!!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Matt Said, Jay Said XXI
Matt pale…Jay pale…You, koute.
Matt: Hellro?
Jay: Hellooooooo?
Matt and Jay: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Matt: How the hell are ya?
Jay: Oh fine. I actually slept through the night last night.
Matt: That’s good. You still sound plugged up n’shit.
Jay: I’ll muddle through. I’m a trooper.
Matt: Indeed you are. How’s the ear, van Gogh?
Jay: Better…it only feels like there is a needle in it, once in awhile.
Matt: So what topic should we bastardize on the show this Sund---
Jay: Oh no way…
Matt: What?
Jay: Geraldo Rivera just said that Trayvon Martin’s wearing of the hoodie was just as responsible for his death as George Zimmerman was.
Matt: Ha. Funny.
Jay: No, he really did.
Matt: What the fuck? Oh dear God, Rivera is a moron, and in this case, a douchebag as well.
Jay: Following that logic, the scorn and ridicule cast upon Rick Santorum is due to him wearing sweater vests.
Matt: Well…It is, partially.
Jay: Okay, bad analogy.
Matt: So what we be talking about this Sunday?
Jay: Well I have several ideas…most of them infantile.
Matt: Those are the best ones.
Jay: We can do the Asian Celebration Show…The Hangover Show which we have talked about, or…
Matt: You sound excited; lay it on me.
Jay: We could do…are you sitting down?
Matt: No, but go ahead.
Jay: The Hunger Games Show!!
Matt: Holy Crap!! You are a fricking marketing genius.
Jay: I KNOW, Right!?
Matt: We could talk about the foods and…
Jay: And other stuff we hunger for.
Matt: Mmmmmmm…like Tyra Banks.
Jay: And Tammmmmmra
Matt: And an obscenely large pizza fully loaded.
Jay: That’s HOT!!
Matt: We’ll take your idea, let our show hits coattail on the movie, and talk about what we hunger for in life.
Jay: Sometimes I hunger for myself when I am this brilliant.
Matt: We all hunger for you.
Jay: As I sensed some sarcasm in that reply, we should end our show prep, sine die.
Matt: Otay, but make sure you wish your Mom a Happy Birthday for me on Saturday.
Jay: Alright.
Matt: I’m going to send her a heartfelt birthday wish via e-mail tomorrow as well.
Jay: You sick fuck.
Matt: What?
Jay: You will refrain from being gross and creepy, right?
Matt: Jay, it’s me, Matt-Man…c’mon.
Jay: Uh-huh. Later dude…time to watch Alex Wagner’s eyebrows.
Matt: Okay Hot Shot.
Jay: “click, click, click”
Make sure you catch Jayman and Matt-Man Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio, as they discuss The Hunger Games. To listen live, click HERE, and as always, share your hunger pangs with them, by calling in at 661.244.9852.
Matt: Hellro?
Jay: Hellooooooo?
Matt and Jay: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Matt: How the hell are ya?
Jay: Oh fine. I actually slept through the night last night.
Matt: That’s good. You still sound plugged up n’shit.
Jay: I’ll muddle through. I’m a trooper.
Matt: Indeed you are. How’s the ear, van Gogh?
Jay: Better…it only feels like there is a needle in it, once in awhile.
Matt: So what topic should we bastardize on the show this Sund---
Jay: Oh no way…
Matt: What?
Jay: Geraldo Rivera just said that Trayvon Martin’s wearing of the hoodie was just as responsible for his death as George Zimmerman was.
Matt: Ha. Funny.
Jay: No, he really did.
Matt: What the fuck? Oh dear God, Rivera is a moron, and in this case, a douchebag as well.
Jay: Following that logic, the scorn and ridicule cast upon Rick Santorum is due to him wearing sweater vests.
Matt: Well…It is, partially.
Jay: Okay, bad analogy.Matt: So what we be talking about this Sunday?
Jay: Well I have several ideas…most of them infantile.
Matt: Those are the best ones.
Jay: We can do the Asian Celebration Show…The Hangover Show which we have talked about, or…
Matt: You sound excited; lay it on me.
Jay: We could do…are you sitting down?
Matt: No, but go ahead.
Jay: The Hunger Games Show!!
Matt: Holy Crap!! You are a fricking marketing genius.
Jay: I KNOW, Right!?
Matt: We could talk about the foods and…
Jay: And other stuff we hunger for.
Matt: Mmmmmmm…like Tyra Banks.
Jay: And Tammmmmmra
Matt: And an obscenely large pizza fully loaded.
Jay: That’s HOT!!
Matt: We’ll take your idea, let our show hits coattail on the movie, and talk about what we hunger for in life.
Jay: Sometimes I hunger for myself when I am this brilliant.
Matt: We all hunger for you.
Jay: As I sensed some sarcasm in that reply, we should end our show prep, sine die.
Matt: Otay, but make sure you wish your Mom a Happy Birthday for me on Saturday.
Jay: Alright.
Matt: I’m going to send her a heartfelt birthday wish via e-mail tomorrow as well.
Jay: You sick fuck.
Matt: What?
Matt: Jay, it’s me, Matt-Man…c’mon.
Jay: Uh-huh. Later dude…time to watch Alex Wagner’s eyebrows.
Matt: Okay Hot Shot.
Jay: “click, click, click”
Make sure you catch Jayman and Matt-Man Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio, as they discuss The Hunger Games. To listen live, click HERE, and as always, share your hunger pangs with them, by calling in at 661.244.9852.
I'm Pretty Sure I'd Choose To Be Drunk
Then again, you might not also try to adopt your girlfriend to hide you money....
Units Of Alcohol
Units of alcohol
Bottle (75cl) of wine - 10 units
Small (125ml) glass of wine - 1.5 units
Standard (175ml) glass of wine - 2.1 units
Large (250ml) glass of wine - 3 units
Pint of weaker (3.6%) beer - 2 units
Pint of stronger (5.2%) beer - 3 units
Bottle (330ml) of beer - 1.7 units
Can (440ml) of beer - 2 units
Alcopop bottle (275ml) - 1.5 units
Small (25ml) shot of spirits - 1 unit
Large (35ml) shot of spirits - 1.4 units
Source: NHS
Does this make sense ? Although the NHS have noted differences in beer strengths, they have not flagged up any difference in the abv of wine.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Slyder Balzcock: The Bridges of Madison Square Garden
Hey there, sports fans…
IWS Sports Director Slyder Balzcock with your, “Welcome to the Weekend Sports Update.”
This past week has been mocked, marred, and made interestingly enough by a whole lotta stuff, so let’s dust off home plate and kick off the pigskin.
Seems that the Indyapolis Colts have ridden Payton Manning as far as his ball talent will carry them, as they released Manning to ride another type of horse to the Denver Broncos.
In my opinion, Manning will be lobbying six point STDs to WRs, Eric Dicker, and newly and recently acquired former Cleveland Bengal, Anthony Caldwell, from the first kickoff to the last at bat in no time.
If only the Broncos still had their great RB from the 70’s, Floyd Patterson, they could probably make a Super Bowl rung this year.
I guess the best news of this entire deal, is that Archie Manning said that the trade, move, and amount of money offered to Payton was, “adequate.”
Arch is always on the look out for his little boy, God Bless him.
In a relative story…
Newly former Denver Bronco QB Tim Tebow is now a New York Jet.
And as Big Apple West Siders, Action, A-Rab, and Big John say on Broadway…
“When you’re a Jet, you stay a Jet.”
So I guess Tebow is there until he throws a Touchdown pass or until the Trinity Broadcasting Network offers him more money with fewer bruises, than the NFL, whichever comes first. Here he comes God-Lovin’ TBN fans!!
Speaking of bruises, former Seattle Supersonics basketball defensive stand out and now currently former News Orlean Saints football coach Gary Payton, has been bruised by a suspension and huge fine by the NFL.
Apparently Payton and the Saints organization were paying blood money to their employees if they tackled opposing players meanly and left them with soiled uniforms.
Trust me, I have seen the Saints play outside the domed environment on real turf and have never witnessed them leaving a player soiled, but so be it...If Gary Payton is gone, and they need a new coach?
Dust off former Saints head coach Hank Stram, and viola, "Lazay-Lay Bon-Tom Roulay."
Sure, Hank may be a little rusty, but in the immortal words of Canadian Rock and Roller, and former British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock…
“Rust Never Sleeps.”
And there you have it folks…Your week in sports from IWS, and yours truly.
For now, this is Sports Director Slyder Balzcock, leavin’ it all on the field, and headin’ to the showers…
Slyder can be reached through Matt-Man at the following addresses:
E-Mail: neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter: @mattmaniws
IWS Sports Director Slyder Balzcock with your, “Welcome to the Weekend Sports Update.”
This past week has been mocked, marred, and made interestingly enough by a whole lotta stuff, so let’s dust off home plate and kick off the pigskin.
Seems that the Indyapolis Colts have ridden Payton Manning as far as his ball talent will carry them, as they released Manning to ride another type of horse to the Denver Broncos.
In my opinion, Manning will be lobbying six point STDs to WRs, Eric Dicker, and newly and recently acquired former Cleveland Bengal, Anthony Caldwell, from the first kickoff to the last at bat in no time.
If only the Broncos still had their great RB from the 70’s, Floyd Patterson, they could probably make a Super Bowl rung this year.
I guess the best news of this entire deal, is that Archie Manning said that the trade, move, and amount of money offered to Payton was, “adequate.”Arch is always on the look out for his little boy, God Bless him.
In a relative story…
Newly former Denver Bronco QB Tim Tebow is now a New York Jet.
And as Big Apple West Siders, Action, A-Rab, and Big John say on Broadway…“When you’re a Jet, you stay a Jet.”
So I guess Tebow is there until he throws a Touchdown pass or until the Trinity Broadcasting Network offers him more money with fewer bruises, than the NFL, whichever comes first. Here he comes God-Lovin’ TBN fans!!
Speaking of bruises, former Seattle Supersonics basketball defensive stand out and now currently former News Orlean Saints football coach Gary Payton, has been bruised by a suspension and huge fine by the NFL.
Apparently Payton and the Saints organization were paying blood money to their employees if they tackled opposing players meanly and left them with soiled uniforms.Trust me, I have seen the Saints play outside the domed environment on real turf and have never witnessed them leaving a player soiled, but so be it...If Gary Payton is gone, and they need a new coach?
Dust off former Saints head coach Hank Stram, and viola, "Lazay-Lay Bon-Tom Roulay."
Sure, Hank may be a little rusty, but in the immortal words of Canadian Rock and Roller, and former British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock…
“Rust Never Sleeps.”And there you have it folks…Your week in sports from IWS, and yours truly.
For now, this is Sports Director Slyder Balzcock, leavin’ it all on the field, and headin’ to the showers…
Slyder can be reached through Matt-Man at the following addresses:
E-Mail: neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter: @mattmaniws
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