PolitiChicks TV: Making FOX News and The View Look Like Excellence in Journalism

As a person who prides himself on being able to observe the day to day good with the bad, the stupid with the less than bright, the barely functional with the not-so-much so, and still smile about life, I have to tell ya…

I have recently seen something on the internet (thanks to Jayman) that turns this slightly left of center, middle aged, Midwest American man into a Texas-sized puddle of Dr. Phil-type stupefied glue. It’s called…

PolitiChicks.tv

I watched the debut episode on their website Wednesday night, and let me tell you…

The I’m With Stupid internet radio show that Jayman and I do twice a week, has better production values, and exponentially greater socio/politico insight than the new, “big time” web show called:

PolitiChicks.

And get this…Their show is hosted by allegedly “famous” people. Four “quasi-famous women” who bleed Conservatism and need an outlet, because as they state on their website:

“As we all know, Conservatives have few outlets in the media. Other than Fox News and a few talk radio shows, Conservatives are greatly outnumbered.”

First of all, FOX News as far as cable outlets go, has an uber-sized audience, and maybe I’m crazy, but as far as Conservative talk radio goes, I think the Clear Channel Empire and others, dominate the airwaves with Limbaugh, Hannity, Boortz, and the like.

So…Who are these four babes of Conservatism and what are they saying? First question first…

The hosts…

Jennie Jones: Jen loves America and her freedoms, and is the editor of something called Patriot Update which is tied to the PolitiChick debacle, and focuses on anti-human trafficking issues.

The Jenster is pursuing a Master’s Degree in History. Perhaps once she gets her degree in History, and in spite of her blind ideology of, America: Love Her or Leave Her, will go back in time and sue our forefathers for participating in the aforementioned Human Trafficking issue.

Next, we have…

Ann-Marie Murrel: Ann is the “sexy” one of the bunch, but don’t let the picture fool you. In the video, the bags beneath Ann’s eyes droop lower than Rodney Dangerfield’s self-esteem. However, what she lacks in gerrymandered looks, she makes up for in logic and sensitivity, as she states in the first episode:

“Not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslim.”

I hate to contradict a never-will-be hottie like Ann-Marie, but I think some people who endured the Nazi regime, a few folks in Oklahoma City, and more than a slew of ten year old boys who showered at Penn State, would disagree with the less than sexy H-Annie-Ty.

Now…It’s time for a woman “of color” to balance things out and give this internet rag mag credence…

Jannique Stewart: Jannique, or as I’m sure Conservatives call her, “That cutsey, non-threatening looking black woman.”, is all about purity and abstinence, which I find odd because she, “quickly rose up the corporate ladder” of a pharmaceutical company, so I know she was damn well pushing birth control pills!!

Anyhoo…

She’s all minority lookin’, Conservative, and black Bristol Palin-like and what not now, so she’s a good fit. She gives the show an “edgy, yet keeping within the framework of Christianity” feel.

Lastly, and lo and behold, what do we have here?

Victoria Jackson (aka The Female Dennis Miller): I am sorry for you Vicky…You had it all. You were on SNL, you were loved, and then you ventured out on your own , and tragedy struck…You found out that staff writers are an awesome commodity, and now you have none.

You floated from guest spot to guest spot and then on to Celebrity Fit Club where you blamed your God-Fearing, Bible-Belting dad for your weight gain, when all along…

You should have realized that filling your mouth with a few more Our Fathers and a few less Hershey Bars would have saved both your soul and your waistline, but alas…

Judging from your inane verbal expositions on Wednesday’s episode of Politichicks, you have become nothing more than an overweight shark feasting on stereotypes of Muslims in hopes of rebuilding a career that has since faded like the desperate light of Diogenes.

Oh my Lawdy…These four ladies blow. They don’t just blow somewhat badly; they are the Great 1930’s Dustbowl of Suckdom, however, and in all fairness, here they are for your viewing pleasure, but my friends…


Tread carefully, for they know not what they speak, and well…that’ll become all too apparent to you shortly into their show…

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com
http://twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS