As the national party known as the 235th Annual 4th of July Let’s Get Drunk and Light off Fireworks Bash draws nigh, I thought I’d lick an eye of newt, smoke a bowl of peyote, get out my Ouija board, and channel the spirits of some of our founding fathers and the like.
I was hoping for some deep, philosophical communications with them in regards to the state of our nation, however…
All they wanted to do was talk about Michele Bachmann. It was odd, but I wrote down some of their quippier and pithier undead comments as they spoke…
Thomas Jefferson: She’s pretty damn hot…for a white girl.
George Washington: I cannot tell a lie…I’d bust her cherry tree in an instant.
Patrick Henry: If I could remove the head of that Sean Hannity motherfucker from her arse for just one second, I would angrily, yet happily, oscillate her anal orifice with vigor and profundity.
Samuel Adams: She’d look great on a beer bottle.
Benjamin Franklin: She has a lovely face, however; she lacks a sufficient amount of cream in her bodkins that I find so appealing in a women, and that which churns, shall we say, “my sexual butter.”
You can’t argue with the Founding Fathers, so step off Tom Petty.
Michele Bachmann obviously is, an American Girl.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
Matt-Man on Twitter
I was hoping for some deep, philosophical communications with them in regards to the state of our nation, however…
All they wanted to do was talk about Michele Bachmann. It was odd, but I wrote down some of their quippier and pithier undead comments as they spoke…Thomas Jefferson: She’s pretty damn hot…for a white girl.
George Washington: I cannot tell a lie…I’d bust her cherry tree in an instant.
Patrick Henry: If I could remove the head of that Sean Hannity motherfucker from her arse for just one second, I would angrily, yet happily, oscillate her anal orifice with vigor and profundity.
Samuel Adams: She’d look great on a beer bottle.
Benjamin Franklin: She has a lovely face, however; she lacks a sufficient amount of cream in her bodkins that I find so appealing in a women, and that which churns, shall we say, “my sexual butter.”
You can’t argue with the Founding Fathers, so step off Tom Petty.
Michele Bachmann obviously is, an American Girl.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
neshobadude@yahoo.com
Matt-Man on Twitter
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