As Christmas day fast approaches, I felt it would be a good time to sing the praises of a Christian music hottie. The Christian music hottie that makes me transubstantiate myself and gets my wood stiffer than a Roman crucifix is Rebecca St. James...
I mean, c'mon, dig it. Perfect smile, long flowing hair, the likes that even Daniel never saw while in the Lion's Den, and...she saved herself for marriage. That's Hot, and what does her saved virginity mean to me? It means she has the morals I so clearly lack, and the tight, cloistered hoo-ha that I crave. Ohhhhh Yeahhhhhhhh.
She has sung such hits as You Hold Me Now and You Never Let Go...Oh Baby, I would hold her down and never let go in a second...Praise Jeebus!!
Rebecca St. James also has something which like Ezekiel, makes me see that glorious wheel in the sky. It's her more than generous nose. Jesus Christ, that turns me on!!
It's true....she appears on Sean Hannity's show from time to time, but I can overlook that. I mean, if she can go on the Hannity show in spite of the fact that he is a major league asshole, it follows that if she were to be with me, she could do so in spite of ME being a major league asshole.
I say unto the holy and nearly virginal hoo-ha of Rebecca St. James, I Will Praise You...every time I bring your picture up on my computer screen.
Matt-Man
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