Y’know folks…something disturbing happened yesterday.
I, the Matt-Man, the man of a thousand quotes, queries, and quantitative physics problems rolling around in my head at any given time was called…
“A twelve year old.”
In fact my friends, and lovers of all things I’m With Stupid related, the exact quote was this…
“I think both you and Jay are a couple of dudes with the sense of humor of twelve year old boy.”
After three minutes of loudlyfeigning expressing my outrage, and correcting her quantitative grammar problem, I bellowed to the loquitur of said character impugnment:
“I am not a twelve year old boy, and my humor is always on the cutting edge.”
What I really wanted to say was, in my best impersonation of the Crazy World of Arthur Brown:
“I am the God of hell fire and I bring you fire…” and continue on in my Al Sharpton voice by saying:
“Oh look at you…you gots the blueberries alllll over your face.” But…
I didn’t. For that would be juvenile.
So instead, I attacked her accusatory statement by using simple, everyday logic with the following diatribe…
Listen…
You act like Jayman and I are nothing but a couple of heathens who want nothing more than to score cheap hits on our website by posting tawdry pictures of hot babes that are labeled with their name followed by, “naked”, or “sexy”, or “boobies”.
If that were the case, I would post a picture of the new transgender Miss Universe contestant from Canada, Jenna Talackova like this one:
.jpg)
And then, would label it with her name and add something like, “naked, hot, sexy” to it, which I did, but only to illustrate a point.
I am all for former men being invited to participate in Donald Trump’s Miss Universe pageant. Does that sound like the attitude of a twelve year old?
Uh-huh…I didn’t think so...and just like I asked Donald Trump on Twitter last night…
“Does she have camel toe?”
Tell a twelve year old to come up with that line of humor. Word.
See? Jayman and I, are men of sophisticated tastes, humor, and upbringing.
You’ll never catch me making fun of stroke-ridden Dick Clark by saying, “Happy Doo Year” and then miscounting down to the New Year.
You’ll never hear Jayman uttering, “Trick or Treating in the projects would suck.”
Nope. We are far more sophisticated than that. Far more sophisticated than a twelve year old boy.
We don’t make wee-wee jokes, poopie jokes, or hoo-ha jokes.
We simply tell it like it is, and we do not, and will not post cheap pictures like this:
Because, well…it isn’t right.
Instead, we write on this site and turn in high performance shows like the one we did yesterday…
Jayman and I discussed what was in our local newspapers and had a heck of a good time doing so, as our fave Kentucky Jew, Sweet Pea, called in.
You can catch the hilarious show in the archives here:
And remember, as a cutting edge comedic person without the sense of humor of twelve year old, I also do not find it funny when I am watching TV and a commercial for Siemens comes on.
Trust me, I do not laugh at Siemens commercials, nor would I title this post in a manner simply to attract readers. I'm not a frickin' twelve year old for Godssakes.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
I, the Matt-Man, the man of a thousand quotes, queries, and quantitative physics problems rolling around in my head at any given time was called…
“A twelve year old.”
In fact my friends, and lovers of all things I’m With Stupid related, the exact quote was this…
After three minutes of loudly
“I am not a twelve year old boy, and my humor is always on the cutting edge.”
What I really wanted to say was, in my best impersonation of the Crazy World of Arthur Brown:
“I am the God of hell fire and I bring you fire…” and continue on in my Al Sharpton voice by saying:
“Oh look at you…you gots the blueberries alllll over your face.” But…
I didn’t. For that would be juvenile.
So instead, I attacked her accusatory statement by using simple, everyday logic with the following diatribe…
Listen…
You act like Jayman and I are nothing but a couple of heathens who want nothing more than to score cheap hits on our website by posting tawdry pictures of hot babes that are labeled with their name followed by, “naked”, or “sexy”, or “boobies”.
If that were the case, I would post a picture of the new transgender Miss Universe contestant from Canada, Jenna Talackova like this one:
.jpg)
And then, would label it with her name and add something like, “naked, hot, sexy” to it, which I did, but only to illustrate a point.
I am all for former men being invited to participate in Donald Trump’s Miss Universe pageant. Does that sound like the attitude of a twelve year old?
Uh-huh…I didn’t think so...and just like I asked Donald Trump on Twitter last night…
“Does she have camel toe?”
Tell a twelve year old to come up with that line of humor. Word.
See? Jayman and I, are men of sophisticated tastes, humor, and upbringing.
You’ll never catch me making fun of stroke-ridden Dick Clark by saying, “Happy Doo Year” and then miscounting down to the New Year.
You’ll never hear Jayman uttering, “Trick or Treating in the projects would suck.”
Nope. We are far more sophisticated than that. Far more sophisticated than a twelve year old boy.
We don’t make wee-wee jokes, poopie jokes, or hoo-ha jokes.
We simply tell it like it is, and we do not, and will not post cheap pictures like this:
Because, well…it isn’t right.
Instead, we write on this site and turn in high performance shows like the one we did yesterday…
Jayman and I discussed what was in our local newspapers and had a heck of a good time doing so, as our fave Kentucky Jew, Sweet Pea, called in.
You can catch the hilarious show in the archives here:
Trust me, I do not laugh at Siemens commercials, nor would I title this post in a manner simply to attract readers. I'm not a frickin' twelve year old for Godssakes.
Cheers!!
Matt-Man
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