Fear and Loathing

The show this week might have been titled “Fear and Loathing” but it turned out to be all “Fun and Hilarity!”  We talked about Phobias and Fears. But, instead of a dark show filled with anxiety, it turned out to be nothing but jocularity. 

The Official Hot Mess of I’m With Stupid, Shine State Shirley called in, and as usual, she kept things lively and kept the conversation moving. And, as if that isn’t enough, Shirley’s exact opposite Mike called in.  Mike’s slow and steady approach to life was the perfect counter-balance to Shirley’s balls-out, full throttle attitude. Add to that mix your always professional hosts and you have a hot, delicious plate of Radio Magic. 

Also, in doing our research, we came across some rare and obscure phobias… 

Pornagraphobia:  The fear that women will expect men to be able to perform the same way men in porno movies can. Results in shrinkage. 

Bamaphobia: The fear that any time you turn on the TV you will be subjected to Emeril Lagasse.

Snotaloaphobia:  An anxiety disorder that happens in some guys when they meet a really attractive girl or have to speak in front of others and their anxiety triggers their allergies and they sneeze 6 or 7 times and snot gets all over their upper lip. 

Billymaysaphobia: The fear of very loud and overly-animated TV pitchmen.

Akwardaphobia:  The fear that at some point during a social gathering you will say something really stupid that results in a long awkward silence and nobody able to even look you in the eye for like an hour. 

Femmemelodramticaphobia: The fear of all things Lifetime Network related. 

Ignoraphobia:  This is where a person logs onto Skype or GTalk or some other messaging site and sees that nobody else is online and is pretty sure that EVERYONE has put them on ignore.

We didn’t really get a chance to discuss them on the show because things were just too wild and crazy. So, our egos demanded that we share our brilliance with you guys here. 

Anyway, we really do highly recommend that you check out this week’s show. It was a really good time. Thank you for your support. 

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And, don’t forget! Next week will be our ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

A Bug's Life

Hi there. Scutigera Coleoptrata here. Hey!!?

Don’t run away like I do when you walk into your kitchen or turn on your bathroom light. I’m a good guy…really.

And frankly…that’s why I’m here on I’m With Stupid.

Many of you, like the Matt-Man does, get all freaked out when you see me and my multi-legged body scurry across your bathroom floor.

Relax it’s all good. I’m just a bug with the same day to day needs, desires, and feelings like you. I just want to be friends. In fact, you can call me Scutty.

Some call me a house millipede, whatever. Just don’t call me, Millie, because that would be gay and seriously, I already have enough negative stigma to carry around on my thirty legs.

I guess me appearance strikes fear into many of you because you’re not used to seeing me in your perfect and pristine world…get over it.

Do you know what my every day view of the world is from down where I am? It ain’t pretty, ‘cause well…I hang out in Matt-Man’s bathroom a lot.

I get to look at the base of his piss stained toilet for much of the day. Boy, that’s a real treat. And it gets better.

Some nights I’ll be lying on the bathroom floor eating a tiny spider as my other legs are choking to death a tiny bug and then in a drunken stupor at 2 AM, Matt-Man stumbles in, takes a piss, misses the toilet, and gives me an unwanted golden shower.

Not the most pleasant accompaniment to a fine dining experience my friends. Oh and the smells I experience. Oh Dear God, the smells.

You may think as a bug, I enjoy living in stench. I am there every Saturday morning after Matt-Man has taken a dump full of the Friday night’s menu of beer, Wild Irish Rose, and Meat Lover’s pizza.

You think my appearance makes your skin crawl!? Jesus Christ, after Matt-Man shits, I have to chew my legs off and grow new ones to remove the stench. It’s awful!!

When I’m around, I eat annoying spider and bugs helping to keep your place clean, and what do I get for my efforts? Heartache.

So c’mon…next time you see me, don’t turn to goo and screech like a little schoolgirl like Matt-Man does, just wave, wink, and say, “Hiya Scutty.”

I won’t respond verbally because, well…I’m a bug, but I’ll smile and raise a leg or twenty right back atcha.

We’re all in this together so appreciate me for who I am, what I have to endure, and put aside your scorn and disgust for the Scutigera Coleoptrata.

Your Friend,

Scutty