Hola Bitches! First of all I would like to thank Jo for classin’ this joint up a bit yesterday. Her post was funny and insightful and far cleverer than the stuff I usually come up with. I hope that Jo will come back and entertain us again and again. And, if you don’t know Jo, you should really get to know here. She’s a really great person.
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I really don’t have anything to write about today, so once again, I will just ramble a bit. Here goes …
I’ve always wanted a pool table. You need too much room for one though. I mean, I guess it would be okay to have one of those little ones that you usually find in bars. But, you can’t get really good at the game if you don’t play on a regulation sized table. Someday I will have enough room for one. Maybe I’ll be able to rent a mobile home. They usually have a pretty good sized “great room” where I could put my pool table. That would be a lot of fun until a tornado blew it away.
You know what else would be cool? A Ping Pong Table! Man, I used to play a lot of ping pong when I was in college. I once had a neighbor who had a ping pong table in an apartment. That was fucking annoying. Not just because I never got invited over to play either. They made A LOT of noise. I bet it was not easy for that one dude to play with that gun in his waistband all the time. I never saw him without it. Now that I think about, those two guys that lived in that one bedroom apartment together were kind of odd. Hmmm … You know what? They might have been gay. Now I’m really hurt that they didn’t ever invite me over.
I’ve had some strange neighbors over the years. I’ve talked about most of them though. You know, like the hookers and drug dealers when I lived in Missouri. Oh I’m sorry, I mean the “Home Business Entrepreneurs.” Of course, I didn’t know about the hookers until after they had been busted. All my other neighbors knew though. The bastards. Well, there was the one in San Antonio; she was a very nice person. I know what you’re thinking and the answer is “No, I didn’t.”
But, now that I think about it, I’ve known or talked to a lot of hookers over the years. I wonder if that’s odd. I’m not even including all the strippers I’ve talked to, because strippers are rarely prostitutes. They also rarely look like Jessica Alba did in “Sin City.” Nothing personal against all the strippers out there reading this, you know I love ya.
Have you ever noticed how often my Stream of Consciousness posts end up talking about strippers and hookers? Pretty often. I bet that’s not normal at all. Anyway, a pool table would be really cool. And so would a ping pong table. And if had those things I would need a juke box. But, not one that played modern country music cause that shit sucks. A disco ball would be cool too. Then I would be the cool guy! Yeah, I like that. I’ve never been the cool guy.
Oh, I would need a bar and multiple TVs too. And a couple of dart boards in case we got tired of playing pool and ping pong. Shuffleboard is always fun too. Actually, I bet ping pong would hurt my back, so we might not have that. Well, I could get one just in case other people wanted to play.
I would have everyone over all the time. Even gay neighbors who carry guns in their waistbands all the time, but they would have to understand that we won’t be playing Cher or Bette Midler on the juke boxs. I think the juke box has the potential to be a problem. I’ll probably just let people play whatever the hell they want to avoid trouble.
I hate being the guy that always causes trouble. I like everyone to just get along. I’ve known so many people who …
Sorry, this got really long winded so I had to cut about 400 words. Anyway, my point is, mean people suck and pool tables are fun.
