Hola *insert word offensive to many people here*. Let me quickly give you three examples of my being insensitive and saying stupid things.
- When I was managing the pizza joint back in college, there was a really sweet and cute blind chick that would come up there every Sunday afternoon with her Seeing Eye dog and get a small pizza and sit and chat for a while. We always had a good time talking about whatever was going on whether it was politics, sports, local gossip, school or other stuff. Also, he dog loved me. Probably because I fed him some of the bacon we put on the pizzas.
One day we were talking about how stupid politicians are and the way they pander to the lowest common denominator and how that seems to get them reelected, but leaves them unable to actually govern. And, at one point she said “I just don’t know why they do these things.” To which I cleverly replied “Because they’re blind to the reality of what they’re doing.”
*crickets*
Hell, even the dog was shaking his head in bitter disappointment. The girl quickly moved the conversation along with a “They only see what they want to see.” Which shows how nice she is, but I was so freaking embarrassed. Soon after that she picked up her pizza and went home with the dog still looking at me like I was the most insensitive guy in the world. She kept coming to the store for the rest of the semester, but I never saw her again after the semester ended.
See? “SAW her again?” I did it again! Jeez I’m an asshole!
Fast forward to this last week:
- I was getting a package of bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts and there was a little old lady was digging through the packages of thighs. When she got what she wanted and turned around I was, of course, in her way. I said excuse me and moved and she smiled and said “I have dig around for a small package since it’s just me and I don’t need those big ones or the family pack.”
Being the smooth operator I am, I replied “Well, at least you get to get whatever you want though.” She just smiled and told me to have a nice day.
Poor little old lady is all alone. Probably a widow! He kids never come to visit! And what do I do? Tell her how great that is.
What. A. Jerk.
- My good friend CatcherDudesMom had a very bad week last week. Her uncle died early in the week and then on Friday night her aunt passed away. After she tweeted what had happened I tweeted back to her my condolences and told her she was in my thoughts and prayers. I was completely sincere in this.
However, about an hour later I went to Facebook to play my turn on my Words With Friends games and in the game against CDM I played the word “DEADER!”
OH MY GOD! I’M A MONSTER!
I would love to say those are the only three times I’ve done something like this. But, fact is, I’ve done things like this pretty much all my life. Some people call me “thoughtless.” I prefer to use the word “irreverent.” Even though I know it mostly comes from my shyness and lack of social skills, I would really love to stop doing things like this.
But, I know I won’t. So, I’ll just pre-apologize for all the insensitive things I’ll say and awkward situations I’ll cause to each and every one of you out there at some point.
jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS
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