Matt Said...Jay Said XXXV

Matt Puhuu.  Jay Puhuu.  You, Kuunnella.

Matt:  You’ve reached the Immaturity Help-Line, how may I direct your childish call?
Jay:  Hey there TUFF GUY.
Matt:  How you doin’, you BAD ASS, you?
Jay:  Man, who knew what a draft dodging pussy Ted Nugent was and is?
Matt:  Ha Ha…Wait for it…
Jay and Matt:  WE DID!!

Matt:  Poor tough guy Ted.
Jay:  Yeah.  The Motor City Fancy Boy couldn’t show up for Vietnam, but he did for our website.
Matt:  And for that, we are eternally grateful.
Jay:  Or something.

Matt:  Hey did you see that we have been getting hits from NBC Universal out of NYC?
Jay:  Oh hell yes I did.  They probably want to make a sitcom out of us being internet radio stars.
Matt:  Probably, but we are so above that type of mindless, ghetto tripe.
Jay:  We are?
Matt:  No, not really.
Jay:  Maybe it’s Tamron Hall who is checking us out.
Matt:  In my fantasy life I think you are right, and I just got a boner.
Jay:  I’d prefer you keep your erection updates to yourself.

Matt:  You know what I can’t keep to myself?
Jay:  What’s that, your self-loathing?
Matt:  No, no, no…They way we were viciously attacked as being immature, 12 year old boys this week.
Jay:  Ohhhh, no kiddin’!!  I have spent the week re-examining my inner-self after that, and I’m still pissed.
Matt:  Same here.
Jay:  We should address this beyond the website.
Matt:  Someone needs to go down for that incalcitrant remark.

Jay:  I mean…that observation holds no weight.
Matt:  IKR?  And dig it.  I was chatting with a hot babe and she said that she is taking a bath now so she can listen to our show while clean and shiny.
Jay:  That’s sweet, but she’ll need another one after listening to us.
Matt:  You know what would be really hot?
Jay:  Ha Ha…wait for it…
Matt and Jay:  IF SHE LISTENED TO US WHILE TAKING A BATH!!

Jay:  Anyhoodle, on Sunday’s show, we need to answer these charges about being all immature n’shit.
Matt:  I agree.  Because we both know we can be funny and still address serious issues logically.
Jay:  Damn straight, and thus, the show is scheduled and I titled it, “But Seriously Folks”
Matt:  That is brilliant, and…quite mature.
Jay:  Thank You.
Matt:  You’re welcome and I will see you on the radio Sunday at Noon ET on I’m With Stupid.
Jay:  Damn right you will, and the blasphemer is going to get a more than public dressing down.
Matt:  Word.

Join us Sunday at Noon ET on IWS on Blog Talk Radio.  We will be defending our honor and maturity, and hope you listen and call-in to help us.

Cheers!!

Building The Perfect Woman

I had planned on writing about Mitt Romney and President Obama today, but last night at the Beer Mine, something happened that took today’s post topic in quite a different direction.

A lady came through to get some beer.  She was very charming, very polite, and incredibly cute.  However…

The chick had a “crazy eye”.  One of her gorgeous eyes was askew.  Kinda like the late, great Jack Elam…

But nonetheless, and as she pulled away, I began thinking…If she were to wear an eye patch, that chick would be hot!!  And then, I thought…

Even without an eye patch, she still would be hot because there are certain, “out of the mainstream” physical characteristics that I find attractive on a woman.

While I am a fan of breasts on the more, shall we say, ample side, I am even more of a fan of great cleavage, and some women regardless of boob girth, have great cleavage, for example, Katy Perry…

Another thing I have always dug on a chick, is a big nose…Now it has to be an attractive big nose.  Kelly Clarkson has a decent schnoz that I would like to blow, and it’s pierced, which is kinda cute…

Now, right wing talking head, and FOX News contributor Laura Ingraham, has the epitome of a sexy nose…

but as I find her to be a repugnant human being, I just can’t go there, although I guess I just did.

Anyhoo...

Eyebrows!!  I dig fertile, furtive, and cocked eyebrows…A good eyebrow can say so much.  And as far as eyebrows today, I have to give a shout-out to touchy-feely, super elitist, and uber-liberal, Alex Wagner of MSNBC…

Dat chick got some sexy ‘brows!!  I want to lick them!!

Another off the mainstrean liking I have, is a woman with a gap between her two front teeth.  Who comes to mind?

Anna Paquin…

In addition, Anna is sporting some sex cleavage in that picture, and a touch of the crazy eye as well!!

So there you have it folks.

My perfect chick would have an eye patch (or not), great boobs and cleavage, a big nose, expressive eyebrows, and a gap between her two front teeth.

In other words, she would look like this…

I don’t care what you say…THAT’S HOT!!

And you know what else is hot?

Listening to Jayman and me on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio today at 11 AM ET.

We are going to do an early analysis of the looming Steel Cage Death Match between Willard Mitt Romney and Barack Hussein Obama.  It is gonna be a HOOT, so…

Join us LIVE at 11 AM ET today by clicking HERE, and remember you can always call-in live at 661.244.9852.  We so loooooove the calls from you folks.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

When Rachel Maddow and Sean Hannity Speak, A Third Person Cries

Yesterday, IWS’ beloved Jayman wrote about his sadness.  He waxed poetically, about how social media sites such as Twitter and Facebook break Jayman’s heart.

Well folks, let me tell ya.  Matt-Man too, has suffered some of the same virtual slings and arrows that have pierced the pride, self-esteem, and psyche of Matt-Man’s friend, the Jayman.

And, much like Jayman…when Matt-Man gets annoyed and/or on rare occasions, angered, he too, begins to speak and write in the overly annoying third person style.

Matt-Man hates it, but he can do nothing about it.  The third person takes over the Matt-Man, and Matt-Man simply has to allow it to run its course.

And to underscore this theme…Matt-Man, much like his buddy Jayman is pissed about some of your actions on Twitter and Facebook.

That’s right, Matt-Man has problems with some people.

Take for instance, one Allison Dickson…Oh my Lordy!!

Matt-Man and her have been friends for years, until?

Matt-Man asked on Facebook…

“Why do networks like NBC have Rachel Maddow on to talk about birth control?  It’s like asking Oscar Wilde about the benefits of vasectomies.”

Holy Cow, instead of responding with a good reason for NBC putting on a non-sperm loving lesbian like Maddow to spout why contraceptives should remain legal and accessible, the Dickson chick, shouted down the Matt-Man by saying something insignificant and defriending him AND, IWS on Facebook.

Hell NBC would have been more on target by bringing on the only man on Cable TV who has a vagina to discuss birth control, one, Cavorter of Catholicism, Sean Hannity

Matt-Man says virtually, and posthumously, (not because he died, but because it sounds good), “Grow Up.”

Matt-Man can’t help it…He loathes the agenda rich Maddow, and hates far left loons and much as far right loons.  Matt-Man wants to find an acceptable center…

A center where the personal privacy of peoples is respected.  Where people can do what ever the hell they feel like, if it doesn’t affect anyone else.  A center where…

Lifestyles, social mores, and tenets of faith or no faith, are kept out of government, and confined to one’s heart and soul where they belong.

Folks…Yesterday, we had an official Congressional Committee hearing on contraception…The entire panel of people being questioned were, clergyMEN.

Hell…While Matt-Man is a Liberal, yet a registered Independent, Matt-Man is pissed off by MSNBC firing Pat Buchanan.  In his newest book, Pat derided the guilt of whites and says that we as a nation are sucked in by Israel, so MSNBC defrocked Pat from being a continuing contributor.

That's Bullshit.

Y’know what Matt-Man thinks about all this hoy-paloy?

Matt-Man thinks that 24/7 news people who rail against politics on Capitol Hill never being more divided along partisan lines, fail to realize that people in America have never been more divided…and perhaps, while not more stupid than the media…just as intellectually lazy.

And…Matt-Man thinks often, especially these days, about the quote once uttered long ago by H.L. Mencken (among others in various forms)…

“People deserve the government they get, and they deserve to get it good and hard.”

If you look at social outlets like Facebook and Twitter today…Americans are as much angry as they are sensitive, and yet…

They refuse to listen to the opinions of others with whom they disagree, and will block them, defriend them, or unfollow them…Matt-Man finds that funny.  However…

That also makes Matt-Man very sad, because…

Matt-Man knows that the people in Congress are there because voters of like-mind put them there, and that Matt-Man’s friends are why we are in our current fuck-up-ness as a nation.

Too many are too far Left.  Too many are too far Right.  Yet…

In between the fringes of moronic thought...lie you, Matt-Man, and common sense.

Don’t allow idiots like Rachel Maddow and Sean Hannity to squeeze us out of the nation’s dialogue.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man
email:  neshobadude@yahoo.com
twitter:  @mattmaniws