The Verdict Is In: Wie Love Kuntz

Cheers Chuckleheads…

Since beginning our IWS radio show nearly a year ago, and this companion website more recently, listeners and readers of IWS have been introduced to many of our team members.

Some of you have met our Dutch-Based correspondent Guy Ahnyurdyck, man about town Marty Martenstein, sports guru Slyder Balzcock, news whore Kim Fragile, Jay, myself, and others of this highly successful multimedia team.

However…

While the names I mentioned are the face of I’m With Stupid and reap the glitter and gold associated with I’m With Stupid, there is an important triumvirate of people who are the sturdy, unsung armor of our undertakings.

That Holy Trinity of Titanium? The IWS legal team of:

That’s right…Wie, Love, and Kuntz is the law firm that has, and continues to represent I’m With Stupid in all things litigious.

The only reason Jay, myself and others on our team take the risks that we do in bringing you the truth, is because we know that Wie, Love, and Kuntz have our backs.

For instance…

Earlier this year, when Jayman was doing an expose on Mila Kunis by following her continuously and tirelessly standing outside the window of her movie location condo, he was arrested by the local police.

Jayman was summarily charged and stood trial on felony counts of stalking and aggravated menacing. What happened next?

In walk Wie, Love, and Kuntz, and the charges were quickly reduced to misdemeanor counts of loitering and public urination. The fines were paid and Jayman missed not a show.

In November 2010, I was arrested in Las Vegas for Statutory Rape of one young, lovely, Lacey Manwich unnamed woman while doing a report on virginal sex. 

I swear I thought the chick was nineteen. Turned out she was 17. Or was she?

After the Clark County NV. courts charged me with Statutory Rape and threat of a long term jail sentence, in walk Wie, Love, and Kuntz…

They convinced the jury and the court, that since life begins at conception, Ms. Manwich the unnamed woman in question was not 17 years and 3 months old when we had sex, but exactly 18 years old and thus an adult.

I was acquitted, thanked the jury, and wished the plaintiff a very Happy Birthday.

So there you have it…Don’t make trouble for us here at I’m With Stupid because we have the penultimate legal team, and they care about us.

And if you need help...remember Wie, Love, Kuntz.

They always get you off.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com

http://twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS

Mila Kunis Hot Wallpaper

Mila Kunis Hot Wallpaper

My Indecent Proposal...

As you probably know, last week NFL owners voted to approve their own proposal and then held a press conference celebrating the fact that they agreed with what they had agreed to propose. It was all done in an attempt to force the players to quickly agree to the deal or risk losing the PR war with the fans.

Well, this gave me a great idea. I would like to publicly announce that I have agreed to my own proposal to have sex with Mila Kunis. Below are the details of the proposal that I have very generously made to Ms. Kunis:

- Mila will be allowed to choose between a tray of Kraft sharp cheddar cheese slices, Petit Jean Mountain summer sausage and Club Crackers, or a Digioro’s thin crust pepperoni frozen pizza for dinner. Great Value Vienna Sausages will also be available for snacking purposes if needed.

- There will be the choice of Charles Shaw (AKA: Two Buck Chuck) Pinot Grigio or Franzia Sunset Blush box wine, Jose Cuervo tequila and Dos Equis beer in the fridge and ready to be consumed.

- Room will be cooled to 69° F.

- Room will be completely dark with the exception the light from my clock radio and my Batman night light.

- The five disc CD player will be loaded with Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Marvin Gaye, Al Green and Otis Redding CDs in that order and will be played from song one, disc one.

- The linens on my bed will be washed (twice) in All Allergy Free powder washing detergent and then dried using Gain fabric sheets.  They will not be placed on the bed until one hour prior to Ms. Kunis’ arrival.

- Four-play will begin at exactly 8 pm CDT and will continue until 9:03 pm CDT.

- During four-play Ms. Kunis will wear nothing but a t-shirt and thong. 

- Jayman will wear nothing but his boxers and has agreed to forgo the wearing of socks to bed. 

- After a quick potty break and the opportunity for Ms. Kunis to slam a few more tequila shots, sexual intercourse will begin at 9:17 pm CDT and will last no less than seven and no more than twenty-seven minutes. 

- After sexual intercourse has concluded there will be a period of cuddling to last between 11 and 53 minutes in which Jayman promises not to fall asleep. 

- There will be four photographs allowed. 1. Jayman and Mila embarrassing in a warm hug upon her arrival. 2. Mila sitting on Jayman’s lap with her arm around Jayman’s neck and Jayman’s right hand on Mila’s thigh. 3. Mila and Jayman engaged in a loving, passionate kiss while lying on the bed. And 4. A very special post coital bliss photo of Jayman and Mila cuddling while nekkid. 

- Jayman will be allowed to post a 500 word or less review of his night with Mila on the I’m With Stupid blog and on his Tumblr, but will use only two of the photos on each blog. 

-Jayman also agrees to not discuss the encounter with Ms Kunis on the “I’m With Stupid” internet radio show as he agrees that his partner Matt-Man lacks the social graces to treat the entire encounter with the respect it deserves. 

- Ms Kunis agrees to leave her thong and to allow Jayman to hang them from a nail above his bed. And from the rear view mirror in his car on weekends.

After reviewing this proposal thoroughly, Jayman has voted unanimously, 1-0, to approve this proposal and will begin making preparations for this wonderful event immediately upon Mila’s acceptance, which should happen promptly. 

I should warn Ms Kunis though, that failure to accept this proposal expeditiously will result very bad PR for her and could cost her a lot of her support that she currently enjoys from people throughout the world. So, it is definitely in her best interest to not let this drag out very long. 

I look forward to word of her acceptance of my proposal and promise to keep everyone updated.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
www.twitter.com/jayman3768

 

If We Allow Gay Marriage...

Then gays will get married! 

I've long had sympathy towards the Pro Life crowd because I felt they were on the side of what was truly right and moral. It hasn't helped them to push a “pro-life” line while murdering people, or the fact that at the very moment that a human being is born most pro-lifers say “you're on your own kid.”

But I still understand and respect their position when it comes to the defense of the unborn and the defenseless.

But, what I can't for life of me figure out, is their over the top anger and opposition to gay marriage. Seriously, WTF people? I mean, opposition to abortion is based on the taking a human life. So, you don't have to be a Christian conservative or even a religious person at all to agree with that. Opposition to gays though, is based solely on bigotry and strict religious doctrine. And that is no basis for denying them the legal right to marry.

I mean, if we're gonna have the federal government base all laws on just anybody's strict moral beliefs, then let's go ahead and put Rush Limbaugh in jail for violating ALL of the Seven Deadly Sins. REPEATEDLY! It's the same thing, right? Sure it is. God is no more serious about that whole “don't be gay” thing as is about the whole “don't be a fat, gluttonous adulterer and those four other things” thing. If we're gonna lay down the law on one, let's do it for all. And, anyone nodding his or her head right now and saying “Fine with me!” has never read the Bible because I'm telling ya, if we did that we would all be tossed into those reeducation camps that Michele Bachmann talks about.

I mean, we're all hypocrites right? Even on the issue of gays. Most all of agree that men together is icky while two women together is a beautiful thing and want to watch.

The argument that marriage has its roots in religion is also a loser. So what? No matter where its roots are, marriage is regulated by the government and is, in fact, a secular act. Basically you pay for a marriage license and then you find someone who is licensed by the state to perform some sort of ceremony and then sign the dotted line saying that you are officially fucked hitched. The whole “get married in a church with all kinds of religious shit” is just an voluntary add on. God is not required to be there unless you invite him.

And don't bother me with the bullshit argument that the government will FORCE the church to marry gays. Come on! Are you even listening to yourself? You say the govt shouldn't be able to force churches to marry gays, but at the same time you support the govt forcing the church NOT to marry gays. Trying to have it both ways much?

In any event, the govt isn't going to force the church to do or not do anything. That's the biggest fail argument of them all. Well, next to the whole “states right unless I disagree with what a state has voted to do then the federal government should come in a void the state law and dictate my beliefs to everyone” bullshit. Which is basically the position of every single person running for the GOP nomination for president. Except possibly Mitt Romney. He hasn't been asked today so we don't know where his position has “evolved” to.

Anyway, I'm impressed that New York is now as cool as Iowa. And I sincerely hope that this will now make New York a place where gays will want to move to. And I'm very happy for all the tax attorneys, estate planners and divorce lawyers who can just go ahead and start planning on buying that Tuscan Villa for retirement now.

But, more than anything I'm sick and tired of the amount of effort and resources that are expended on issues such as gay marriage that should be obvious and easy. And while everyone is screaming at each other over the little stuff, I wonder what our “leaders” in DC are cooking up to screw us over with next. Hmmm … It's almost like this all by design, isn't it?

Jayman

jayman3768@gmail.com

www.twitter.com/jayman_iws

Mila Kunis Wallpaper

Mila Kunis Wallpaper