Cowboy Celeb, if I've got this right, was born in Malaysia but has Singapore citizenship and now lives in Singapore. But his job in something hightech has brought him to China, where he makes good bucks, and everybody thinks he is brilliant, but it's somewhat of a facade and he's bored and tired with the whole charade. So Cowboy Celeb at Liquidblade finds himself in an untenable position with a dismal future, and his post is a very honest appraisal of what's happening in his life. Money or happiness? You don't see this kind of honesty in a blog too often. Thanks Cowboy, I hope you can work it out...
For the past 2 nights, I have not slept well in the swank new apartment I have been given. Each night, I venture out to one of the fashionable (by China standards) restaurants and drink myself shitfaced alone during dinner only to return to my bed and start at the ceiling all night long in horror of how my life is playing out.
I now realize that I will never get to live in the lovely house I just bought in Malaysia with my family, being cursed to roam the earth like some wandering Jew. Whenever I think of home, it simply depresses me too much.
And it doesn’t help that I am paralyzed with fear at work, having become the living breathing embodiment of the Peter Principle. People actually think I know what I am doing, simply because I look the part.
Finally, I understand why salarymen become alcoholics because it would be unthinkable these days not to end the day with a long cold stiff one or a dozen. Not that it helps because I’ve somehow magically became immune to alcohol after imbibing more than enough over the course of the past 3 years.
These days, I’m really considering taking a 40% paycut in order to return home.
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