Showing posts with label Bacon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bacon. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

One Has To Love Oneself In Order To Love Others

Last night Jayman and I were talking on Twitter about trying to make the IWS website a more profound and respectable place.

After our conversation, as it was my turn to write, and with no topic on hand, I said to myself…

“Dumbass, let’s just change course and make that dream happen.”

Jay and I often take the time, and more specifically your time, to publicly whine, bitch, and “let it all go” in a negative way, so I thought that today?

I’d write about what makes me happy. Join me, won’t you?  I hope you do…

I love the smell of bacon frying.  I especially love the smell of bacon frying when it’s my BFF/OSP Schmoop, doing the frying of said bacon.

When Schmoop is frying bacon, and I am at my computer, I can hear her from the kitchen, in a joyful, and carefree, lilting tone, half-singing and half-humming an incoherent nonsense song…it’s relaxing.

In fact it would even be hotter and more joyful, if she were frying it naked, but my joy would quickly turn to sorrow, as I heard her lilting tones turn to screams of pain and anguish as the bacon grease little by little, scarred her exposed body.

I really enjoy taking a shower.  In the shower, I am alone, and can sing at the top of my lungs and there is not a critic in the house.  And it’s nice as well, that I can re-live the magic of having had sex with a different former girlfriend with each new shower.  And?  Even ponder some future trysts.

You know what else I like?

Talking to God about giving me the strength to tell my BFF/OSP this publicly, and for even joking about thinking of other women while I was in the shower.  It brings the Almighty and I closer together…on a daily basis no less.  I like that, and Praise Jeebus!!

I love how people shower my partner in crime, Jayman, with cascades of praise as to how sweet he is.  I too love him for that, and in a couple of years, I will love Jayman and the money I make off of him even more, when I release my book…

“Jayman Unleashed:  The Direct Messages To, and Private Phone Calls He Had, with Matt-Man”

Even though over the next week I will be working 62 hours at the Beer Mine, I am happy to see the owner get away for a desperately needed vacation, however what I am really happen to see happen, is the, Buy One, Get One Free Sale that I’ll be running while he’s gone for a week.

Oh yeah Bitches, I’ll be moving some product out the door of the Beer Mine starting this Saturday!! And why?  Because I love.

And love is what I am all about…

Yeah bitches, the Love.

Annnnnd…If you wanna hear some love on Blog Talk Radio…You need to listen to the show that Jayman and I did with Nicole Russin yesterday on the IWS Radio Show.

We talked vegans; we talked sausages (realistic and otherwise); we talked Wal*Mart; we talked cupcakes, bigots, and SPAM.  Oh My!!

We covered it all, and you can catch it all right here in archives:

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Jesus Christ Resurrected and So Am I

I had a bad week last week, and this week was starting off with a stench of a mood as well, however…

When I am in a bad mood or a funk, there are three things to which I retreat, until things improve.

The first source of comfort and equilibrium inducing harmony?

Pictures of Mindy Silvers:



The second?  Bacon…


And the third thing that comforts me, is my love for music.

Yeah, I know…Sometimes I may seem to be a complete Visigoth who has no more appreciation for the arts than Rick Santorum does for a hot, drunk chick who is taking birth control, however...

When I get really low down, I write poetry, polemics, and most of all…music.

And when Easter is but a full moon and two days away, I write music about my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. So let it be written; so let it be done…I have re-crafted a good song for you today.

Ladies and Gentlemen…The Resurrection of Jesus Christ…with Music and a Video.  Say Amen!!


And folks, if that wasn’t enough entertainment for you, Jayman and I did a radio show yesterday…Uh-Huh…none of ya showed for the show, but Jo, but we did it, and it was hilarious.

So if you’d like to listen as we made fun of Romney, Santorum, Paula Deen, and a cast of other stupid people while having a picnic, you can listen here:

                                                                                                       
A nice, pleasant to read, and hear post that is easy on the eyes, as we begin another Daylight Saving Time season.

I personally, and on behalf of IWS, would like to thank the uber-lovely Miss Silvers for agreeing to appear on our website today and being a good, non-uptight person.

Have a great week, and as always…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

Email:  neshobadude@yahoo.com
Twitter:  @mattmaniws