Olympic Babes: Jennifer Love Hewitt

Showing posts with label Jennifer Love Hewitt. Show all posts

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Jennifer Love Hewitt Sexy Pictures

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Taylor Swift and Jennifer Love Hewitt: A Comparative Study

Hola Bitches.

You’ll have to excuse me. My post was originally going to be about how Alec Baldwin is nothing like his reputation. I tried to make the case that Alec is NOT an egomaniacal rageaholic in need of at least a decade of anger management classes before he could even be called a halfway decent person. But, I had to trash it and do something else.

Thanks a lot Alec. You pompous, selfish, out of control, loud-mouthed, BASTARD! NOW I HAVE TO COME UP WITH AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT BLOG POST ON SHORT NOTICE. ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY? ARE YOU? YOU FUCKING DISGUST ME!

Uh, sorry, almost lost my cool for a second there.

Okay, so back to Celebrity Reputations. I’ve been working on this for a while now. And by “working” I mean “thinking about it while taking a dump,” and by “a while” I mean this afternoon. We all know that it’s possible, and even likely that many celebrities are the exact opposite of their public reputation.

And, sometimes two celebrities who seem like exact opposites of each opposite of each other, really are, but for the exact opposite reasons. Does that make any sense? Here, let me give you the best example I could come up with after ~~years~~ ~~months~~ ~~days~~ ~~hours~~ a few minutes of thinking about it.

Let’s take Jennifer Love Hewitt (Ed’s note: RAWR!) and Taylor Swift. Now, there’s really no doubt that these two are pretty much opposites. But, isn’t it possible that they opposites while each of them are the exact opposite of what most people’s perception of them is? I’ll explain…

Taylor Swift: She is actually a cold-hearted, no-talent, man eater. She chews men up and spits them out. She’s an animal in bed and is the absolute greatest lay in the entire world. She uses men for sex and when she’s tired of them tosses ‘em aside like yesterday’s trash. She also uses her sex appeal to get what she wants.

JLH: She is actually a shy, modest, painfully naïve lady who is sweet and caring but not all that experienced or wise to the ways of the world. She is overflowing with love and talent and boys fall in love with her immediately and while she thinks they’re sweet she doesn’t want to compromise her Christian values by losing her virginity to someone who won’t treasure it.

See? They’re total opposites, but also the opposite of their public persona. And I can only assume John Meyer wrote “Your Body is a Wonderland” for Jennifer Love Hewitt because he was wondering what it would be like to actually get to touch the frigid little Miss Goody Two-Shoes.

Jayman
Jayman3768@gmail.com
Twitter: @Jayman_IWS

In other news we had a great Show Prep session Wed on “I’m With Stupid.” We actually did do show prep this time, just to mix things up a bit. We also made a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT.

That announcement is that I’m With Stupid’s Saturday show will be moving to 11 pm EST, 10 pm Central, 9 pm Mountain, 8 pm Pacific and 12 noon on Sundays in Manila, the Philippines. So, mark your calendars, put the beer on ice and be sure to join us for a rollicking good time!

And, just for the fun of it, listen to Wednesday’s show prep show too. There you will find out what Saturday’s show topic will be. You’re gonna love it!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Sunday, December 4, 2011

It's Cold and Flu Season, not Oh Woe is Me, Season

Some of you may have realized this, but let me tell you …It’s cold and flu season already, and man, do I have a cold, however…

Not your typical cold.

The cold that I have had for two weeks is the tortoise of colds.

It is slow, steady, and omnipresent.

No over the top, sneezing my ass off, my nose draining faster than a New Orleans levee, cold. Simply…a low-grade, persistent, and annoying as hell, cold.

I know what you are thinking and/or saying to yourselves…

“Matt-Man is the biggest puss in the world when suffering from sinusitis, lost voice, and vacated manhood.”

Let me tell you something, Bitches…!!

Two years ago I had pneumonia…Not just any pneumonia, I also had a rare secondary lung infection as well. And you know what?

I worked for two weeks while I had walking pneumonia, and didn’t even realize that a second malady had formed, and what did I do?

I WORKED!!

I had over a gallon of fluid around my right lung, but I still went to work. I could barely speak because of the pain, but I still went to work.

I was drooling on myself and talking in tongues, and yet…

I still went to work.

I even mopped while working, and what was I mopping up? The liquid discharge of my infected lungs!!

And what did I get for my two weeks of sick, should have been in hospice servitude?

The satisfaction of knowing that I am not a quitter, and a $20,000 hospital bill that I will never be able to repay.

And in my book, Not a Quitter + 20K in Hospital Bills = A Dude Who Makes Things Happen.

I have no idea where this post is going and guess what? I don’t fricking care…you know why?

When I was in the hospital, they told me had I waited another 72 to 96 hours, my right lung would have been crushed by the fluid, the infection would have spread, and I could have died.

But guess what? I didn’t die, because I know when to man up, and let the sexy little girls of the nursing industry take care of me.

I planned the entire, “poor Matty is sick, can you, a hot nurse, take care of me?” routine.

You see…I go to extremes when hitting on chicks, and that may have been my best effort yet, ’cause 25 year old ER Nurse Megan was digging me, and she looked like Jennifer Love-Hewitt.

Anyhoo, heretofore, and to sum up…

This pansy cold that I have sucks, however…I am not a pansy when it comes to colds, and…

If you want to take care of me when I’m truly sick?

Bring on the Jennifer Love-Hewitt boobs and charge me 20,000 dollars…

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com
http://twitter.com/#!/MattManIWS

Monday, November 28, 2011

Jennifer Love Hewitt Hot Pics

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Halloween Sucks, But It's Almost The Holidays

Hola Bitches! Well, it’s just about that time of year again. It’s almost Holiday Season. Despite the fact that I spend much of the Holiday Season depressed, there is a lot to love about the holidays. I’ve always loved the spirit of the season. I love the festive atmosphere, the decorations, the music, the general happiness and all that great stuff too. Unfortunately, it all starts with my third least favorite day of the year: Halloween.

After my birthday and April Fools’ Day, Halloween is the day I have the least use for. There is very little to like about Halloween. Basically there are only four things I like about Halloween:

1. Candy packaged in variety packs that you can’t get other times of the year.

2. The command performance put on by Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs in I Know What You Did Last Summer. They were spectacular.

3. SMARTIES!

4. Said candy variety packs being put on 50% off sale at Dollar General after Halloween is over.

That’s it. That’s the list!

The rest I can do without. I don’t like scary movies. I don’t like costumes. I don’t like spooky shit of any kind. I’m already pissed that I’m going to see 5,000 people post pics of their babies dressed as bumble bees and all will pretend that they are the only ones who thought of it. Not you of course, your kid is cute as hell.

And their dogs! These people even dress their dogs up. Your dog is the one creature on this Earth that loves you unconditionally. He will never let you down. He will never leave you. He would put himself in front of a bullet or a speeding train to save you. And how do you repay him? You dress him up like Harry Potter or an Elf or some other shit. Then you take pics of him and post them on the net for everyone to laugh at and make fun your best, and probably only, friend in the entire world.

Oh sure, I’ll retweet those pics of your dog in his costume. Or I’ll post them on the official I’m With Stupid Tumblr. But, deep inside, I’ll feel really bad for the poor little puppy suffering such humiliation only because his only desire in life is to make you happy.

But, after Halloween is over things will begin to improve. As the days get shorter and colder and the football games get bigger and more meaningful, it will become time to start making Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. Mine are already made, weather permitting, of course. My plans are the same as every year. Thanksgiving with the family in Omaha, NE and a quiet and simple Christmas here in Redneckville, AR.

In between there will be decorating, baking fudge and cookies and watching all my favorite Christmas specials and movies. It’s such a special time of year. Hell, we might even dedicate a whole episode of I’m With Stupid internet radio show to happy shit. Maybe. We’ll see.

But, that’s all in the future still as I have to get through Halloween night first. I’ll put up the blackout curtains and ignore the begging children of Occupy Wall Street people who bang on the door even though my porch light won’t be on or anything like that. Then on Tuesday morning I will go out and see whether or not my car was egged or the air was let out of its tires by kids engaging in a little “mischief.” Only then will I be able to start looking forward to the Holidays and actually smile again.

Speaking of Halloween, we held out Halloween Creeptacular this weekend on I’m With Stupid. And boy was it! The show opened with a trailer for a soon to be released horror film loosely based on the lives of your humble hosts, Matt-Man and Jayman. Then we engaged in some witty banter, as usual, followed by talking Halloween and taking calls.

And, while Matt and I were bringing the creepy, Dana and Knight called in to bring the sexy! It turned out to be a pretty great show. Especially as Knight watched a certain “inappropriate” video and gave us a little play-by-play of the action. Let’s just say it was HAWT! But, in a totally family-friendly(ish) kind of way.

So, check out the show if you get the chance. We very much appreciate your support and love each and every one of you out there.

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio