Zimmerman Charged With Murder!!

Happy Thursday all…Matt-Man here.  Yeah, I’m here alright, but let me tell you…I’m a little scared.

Why, you ask?

Because yesterday, Florida State Attorney and special prosecutor Angela Corey, announced that George Zimmerman had turned himself in, and had been charged with second degree murder in the death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin.

From this point on, both George Zimmerman and the family of the late Trayvon Martin will get a free and fair trial.

Well, God Bless Us All…

This will surely end the 24/7 maniacal rantings by the New Black Panthers, Sean Hannity, MSNBC, and you…the every day, go to work kinda guy or gal.  Right?

Ha!!

It’s merely the beginning…

Angela Corey on behalf of the State of Florida, charged George Zimmerman with second degree murder, and thankfully set the wheels of true, unemotional, evidence based justice into motion.

However…

Her healing, and well-thought out decision to put George Zimmerman on trial for second degree murder, will soon have an adverse affect on us all as well.  Well...at least an adverse effect on me.

What is the Zimmerman Effect of which I speak?

As soon as the trial begins, and probably before, there is going to be speculation out the ass 24/7 about the jurors, the testimony, the demeanor of the judge, and the ultimate effect of the verdict, by assholes who haven’t a clue as to how to even dress or feed themselves.

Every dead, used up, skeletal, one and done, famous lawyer will be dug from up the graveyard of juris prudence in order to provide his or her, “expert insight.”

Every talking head on cable TV and talk radio, such as Hannity, Maddow, Grace, and Limbaugh will meld evidence “as they see it”, into innuendo, conjecture, and ergo, “fact”, thereby either clearing or condemning Zimmerman of murder.

And you know what is even worse for a guy like me…A guy who doesn’t watch a lot of TV, but rather, gets his news and info from internet sources, and interacts often on social media sites..?

Beginning today, I will have to have to endure every person whoever won at Clue and is a lawyer wannabe, every uptight misanthrope who thinks he/she knows what truly happened, and every white and black bigot who is making a stand for their “side” by offering up their evidence, testimony, and trial in one convenient swoop.

I’m not looking forward to this, because this one convenient swoop of speculation is going to last for a few months.

Oh DEAR GOD…

Over the next few months….The Blog Posts…The Tweets…The Facebook posts…Everyone is going to show through their comments, that they have somehow, suddenly and spontaneously graduated from Law School.

It’s going to be brutal.

Listen folks…If you believe in America, you should believe in our judicial system.  It’s not perfect, nothing is, but it is pretty good, so I beseech of you…

Could you please, please…allow this trial to run its course.  Let the lawyers do the lawyering…Allow the judge to do the judging, and allow a jury of Zimmerman’s peers to find him guilty or not guilty.

If you do not allow these things to transpire, you are not only a simpleton who thinks he or she knows better than everyone else, you hate America, and one more thing…

You will annoy the fuck out of me.

Cheers!!

Matt-Man

neshobadude@yahoo.com
@mattmaniws

In lighter news...Jayman and I put on an odd show yesterday. We broke down the day's breaking events FOX News Style.

It was interesting and well...interesting.

Give it a listen and of course we'll see you again on the radio Sunday at High Noon ET!!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said XXI

Matt pale…Jay pale…You, koute.

Matt:  Hellro?
Jay:  Hellooooooo?
Matt and Jay:  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Matt:  How the hell are ya?
Jay:  Oh fine.  I actually slept through the night last night.
Matt:  That’s good.  You still sound plugged up n’shit.
Jay:  I’ll muddle through.  I’m a trooper.
Matt:  Indeed you are.  How’s the ear, van Gogh?
Jay: Better…it only feels like there is a needle in it, once in awhile.

Matt:  So what topic should we bastardize on the show this Sund---
Jay:  Oh no way…
Matt:  What?
Jay:  Geraldo Rivera just said that Trayvon Martin’s wearing of the hoodie was just as responsible for his death as George Zimmerman was.
Matt:  Ha. Funny.
Jay:  No, he really did.
Matt:  What the fuck?  Oh dear God, Rivera is a moron, and in this case, a douchebag as well.

Jay:  Following that logic, the scorn and ridicule cast upon Rick Santorum is due to him wearing sweater vests.
Matt:  Well…It is, partially.
Jay:  Okay, bad analogy.
Matt:  So what we be talking about this Sunday?

Jay:  Well I have several ideas…most of them infantile.
Matt:  Those are the best ones.
Jay:  We can do the Asian Celebration Show…The Hangover Show which we have talked about, or…
Matt:  You sound excited; lay it on me.
Jay:  We could do…are you sitting down?
Matt: No, but go ahead.
Jay:  The Hunger Games Show!!
Matt:  Holy Crap!!  You are a fricking marketing genius.
Jay:  I KNOW, Right!?

Matt: We could talk about the foods and…
Jay:  And other stuff we hunger for.
Matt:  Mmmmmmm…like Tyra Banks.
Jay:  And Tammmmmmra
Matt:  And an obscenely large pizza fully loaded.
Jay:  That’s HOT!!

Matt:  We’ll take your idea, let our show hits coattail on the movie, and talk about what we hunger for in life.
Jay:  Sometimes I hunger for myself when I am this brilliant.
Matt:  We all hunger for you.
Jay:  As I sensed some sarcasm in that reply, we should end our show prep, sine die.
Matt:  Otay, but make sure you wish your Mom a Happy Birthday for me on Saturday.
Jay:  Alright.

Matt:  I’m going to send her a heartfelt birthday wish via e-mail tomorrow as well.
Jay:  You sick fuck.
Matt:  What?

Jay:  You will refrain from being gross and creepy, right?

Matt:  Jay, it’s me, Matt-Man…c’mon.
Jay:  Uh-huh.  Later dude…time to watch Alex Wagner’s eyebrows.
Matt:  Okay Hot Shot.
Jay:  “click, click, click”

Make sure you catch Jayman and Matt-Man Sunday at Noon ET on Blog Talk Radio, as they discuss The Hunger Games.  To listen live, click HERE, and as always, share your hunger pangs with them, by calling in at 661.244.9852.

Roger Goodell's Authoritarian Life

Hola Thugs and Cheap Shot Artists! By now you probably know that His Excellency Most Beloved and Feared Supreme Leader and Grand Poobah of the NFL, Roger Goodell has dished out the discipline in the Saints Bounty Program matter. Rockin’ Roger suspended Gregg Williams indefinitely and rescinded Williams’ superfluous “G” from his first name. Goodell then gave Sean Peyton a one year suspension and docked the Saints some draft choices. Afterwards, sportswriters all over the country dropped to their knees, licked their lips and stared longingly at Goodell’s raging authoritarian manhood.

What a lot of people don’t know though, is that Roger Goodell has a long history of laying down the law. He has had a no tolerance policy since he was a little kid. And, our crack staff here at IWS World Media has uncovered some of the times his authoritarian streak has appeared in the past.

Summer of 1964: A five year old Roger Goodell informed his mother that, since it was Tuesday, he would be having peanut butter and jelly for lunch. But, it turned out that Mother Goodell didn’t have any peanut butter in the house, so she attempted to serve Roger a baloney sandwich. While being a fan of baloney, Roger simply couldn’t allow his mother to deviate from the weekly schedule. So Roger suspended his mother from watching General Hospital for the rest of the week, and fined her one extra Twinkie for him to eat at a later date when he was craving one.

Summer of 1968: After watching the CBS Evening News and becoming enraged at all the “DIRTY FUCKING HIPPIES” protesting against the war in Vietnam and the government, Goodell ordered Walter Cronkite suspended from appearing on the family TV for two full weeks and ordered the family to instead watch the Hunt-Brinkley report.

Summer of 1976: Roger’s brother Tim accidentally scratched and ruined Roger’s Barry White “Can’t Get Enough” album. Roger wasn’t understanding at all. He suspended Tim from borrowing any albums indefinitely. A suspension he didn’t lift until 2002. He also fined Tim his Roberto Clemente and Lou Brock rookie cards. Harsh!

Winter of 1980: Roger had always allowed his roommate at Washington and Jefferson College permission to wear one of his sweaters when going on a date, but one time the roomie wore it without asking. Incensed at this breach of protocol, Roger was forced to deny his roommate use of any of his sweaters AND forbid him from getting any condoms out of Roger’s stash for the remainder of the semester.

Spring of 1990: After his dog Rufus chewed up his copy of The Road to Power by Josef Stalin, Roger was exasperated. He had already given Rufus his one warning three years earlier when Rufus peed on the Persian Rug in the basement. So, Goodell suspended Rufus from going to the dog park for three months and took one of Rufus’ squeaky toys away. He then went on to warn Rufus that if there were any other indiscretions he would be sent to live with Mitt Romney.

So, as you can see, Roger Goodell has been preparing his whole life to be the Supreme Leader of the NFL or some other organization in desperate need of a daddy to keep everyone in line. There have been many other examples of Goodell’s authoritarian training, but honestly, they’re just too disturbing to report on. Yes, even more disturbing than sending his dog to live with Mitt Romney.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

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In other news, we had a really Wild Wednesday on I’m With Stupid this week. We talked about the Illinois primary, Peyton Manning and Tim Tebow. After that we discussed the Tayvon Martin situation and then launched a few more Molotov Mocktails in what is fast becoming our best all-around segment. So, totally check it out!!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

A Few Life's Lessons

Hola bitches! Over my forty-four years on this Earth, I have accumulated a decent amount of knowledge about life. I feel that since I am now a wise and distinguished older gentleman this would be a good time to dispense some advice to the good people all over the world who read this blog. I do this not for money (unfortunately) or for adulation (cause I don’t get any), but to help out mankind. Because that’s just the great kind of guy I am.

The first bit of advice is a little gem I dropped on my good friend, the lovely and talented Little Miss Sunshine who the rest of the world knows as Gnetch, the other night on Twitter:  “When searching for a place to live, make sure it’s near a 24 hour market that has a bakery and carries alcohol, a good dive bar and burger and pizza joints that are open late.” I think we can all agree that those are the most basic staples in life. Well, unless you want to add strip clubs to the list.

Anyway here are a few other things I’ve learned along the way:

- Flexibility is almost never overrated.

- While you shouldn’t go out of your way to offend someone, don’t censor yourself because you’re afraid of offending someone either.

- You can launch any vile, hateful personal attack on a skinny person you want to and almost never be called on it.

- Asian chicks rule!

- Latinas are pretty freaking awesome too.

- If you disagree with someone over anything, no matter how minor, it’s okay to just call them Nazis.

- Ignorance of history is totally acceptable these days.

- Our society has an endless appetite for zombie and vampire books, movies and TV shows.

- Once you turn 40 life is just an endless series of strange new pains and ailments that come and go with no rhyme or reason.

- Simply ReTweeting, ReBlogging and Sharing information about a “cause” on Facebook in now considered being involved in it.

- The Fake Outrage Machine can be turned up to 11 over anything no matter how insignificant.

- Yet, it takes hundreds of thousands of people pounding away on the media and govt to get them to finally investigate a vigilante gunning down an unarmed teenager in Florida who was just walking home.

- Mormons make great neighbors because, much like the Mafia, they don’t do any “business” in their own neighborhoods.

- People take it very personally if I don’t like their favorite singer, group, movie, tv show, book etc.

- People can’t quite grasp the concept of Homer Simpsons’ greatest piece of philosophy ever: “Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”

- Adding a little extra pepperoni and cheese to a frozen pizza makes it dramatically better.

- Preheating the oven is still bullshit.

So there you go kids. A few basic pearls of wisdom that you might not have known, but probably should.

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

And in other news, here’s our “Molotov Mocktails” segment from last week’s Dixieland Delight episode of I’m With Stupid. If you aren’t listening to IWS each Wed at 11 am ET or Sunday at Noon ET or anytime in the archives, then you’re totally missing out. And causing us heartache. I know you don’t mean to, but well, it’s the truth. We miss you when you’re not there.

Anyhoodle, here’s the 4.5 minute segment that I edited up just for you guys. And I’ll even give you a DIRECT LINK to the video. Damn, I thoughtful!