Matt Said, Jay Said XLVIII

Matt alkstay, Jay alkstay, You istlenlay.

Matt: Hello?
Jay: Yo
Matt: Oh … It’s … Yewww
Jay: Don’t act like you’re not excited.
Matt: Only a little really.
Jay: That’s only a little hurtful.
Matt: Life just be that way.
Jay: You’re just cold-hearted.
Matt: The world made me that way.
Jay: Life on the streets does that to a guy.

Matt: I have a serious problem.
Jay: Burning when you pee again?
Matt: I have two problems.
Jay: What’s the other one?
Matt: I have 499 friends on Facebook.
Jay: That is bad. That’s way too many to keep up with.
Matt: No, the problem is the odd number. I need one more very badly.
Jay: So add someone.
Matt: I’m trying to! I had 496 and tried to add four.
Jay: Ha! And only three accepted?
Matt: YES!
Jay: That’s a problem for you dude.
Matt: You mean “for you FREAKS” don’t you?
Jay: Oh no! We all have our personality quirks.
Matt: That’s what makes each of us special.
Jay: True, and you’re much more special than me.
Matt: Hey now! You’re quite the weirdo yourself.
Jay: Actually I meant you’re much more loved than me. I only have 199 friends.
Matt: No … People think you’re Mr. Sweet and Wonderful.
Jay: Only for a while, then they start hating me.
Matt: Well, I have noticed that, but didn’t want to say anything.

Matt: *pees while on the phone*
Jay: Very impressive stream.
Matt: Thank you. I’m very proud of my urinating power.
Jay: I don’t know about the rest of you, but you’re kidneys are excellent.
Matt: Oh the rest of me is done! Kidneys are all I have.
Jay: At least you have that.


Matt: Hey! You need to follow **Name Redacted**
Jay: No, No, No, No, No … I don’t either.
Matt: You’re missing out.
Jay: On a bunch of bullshit?
Matt: You really should follow him.
Jay: Okay, I will but you have to follow **Name Redacted**
Matt: Oh MANNNNNNNNN!
Jay: It’s only fair.
Matt: You play dirty. Mitt Romney is funnier than that guy.
Jay: Eh … He’ll probably block you really fast.
Matt: Well, there’s that. Okay, deal.

Jay: So Olympics show?
Matt: Kind of.
Jay: ???
Matt: How ‘bout Alternative Olympics?
Jay: Events we’d like to see?
Matt: Well, things like “Gay Olympics” “Redneck Olympics” “Ethnic Olympics”
Jay: “Handicapped Olympics?” “Midget Olympics?”
Matt: Yeah, stuff like that. We’ll hit every politically incorrect group.
Jay: We can do that!
Matt: Schmoop! Take notes.
Jay: Damn, a personal assistant.
Matt: You should get you one.
Jay: No kidding.
Matt: Schmoop! … Schmoop! … Please?
Jay: I need a more obedient one though.
Matt: It’s like she has a mind of her own.
Jay: Okay, so Alternative Olympics it is.
Matt: Gonna be HUGE!

There you go folks! Just a couple of genii doing what they do best. And, don’t forget to tune into Sunday’s I’m With Stupid as we present the Alternative Olympics!

Matt Said, Jay Said XLVI

Matt: Holaaaaaaaaaaa!
Jay: Cheers!
Matt: It’s opposite day!
Jay: Just mixing it up a bit.
Matt: How’s your ass?
Jay: Improving by the day.
Matt: That’s good. Gotta just be patient.
Jay: It all gets better little by little.
Matt: Wish that was true for everything.
Jay: Isn’t that the truth.
Matt: *sigh*
Jay: *sigh*

Jay: That show on Sunday w/ Carrie was freaking awesome.
Matt: It really was. Great show with a great guest.
Jay: Wish we had more time though.
Matt: I could have talked to her all day.
Jay: There were so many more questions that needed answers too.
Matt: Like “Is Paula Deen fun to party with?”
Jay: Exactly! And, “Do Ina and Jeffrey have a sex dungeon?”
Matt: Exa … Well, I don’t know if we need to know that one.
Jay: Well, maybe I’m the only one wondering that.
Matt: I’m guessing you are.
Jay: Still a great show and we actually acted like grownups.
Matt: We did even though SOMEONE didn’t think we could.
Jay: And it’s not like we weren’t tested either.
Matt: Damn right! We both let that “big salt lick” line go.
Jay: We sure as hell did.
Matt: Yeah, SOME PEOPLE probably still think we couldn’t do that.
Jay: People underestimate us all the time.
Matt: It’s our secret weapon.

Jay: So, “Hangover Show” this week?
Matt: Not only will we talk about it, I’ll be living it!
Jay: Sunday mornings are often tough.
Matt: Especially when one has Saturday off!
Jay: Oh dear God!
Matt: That’s right bitches!
Jay: This could be epic!
Matt: That’s my plan.
Jay: We’ll talk about epic parties and the resulting hangovers.
Matt: And hangover cures.
Jay: And hangover prevention.
Matt: And how to be considerate of others with hangovers.
Jay: And we’ll sing “Sunday Morning Coming Down”
Matt: I love that song.
Jay: Everyone should.
Matt: Of course, it’s Kris Kristofferson for God’s sake!
Jay: Kris is the man!
Matt: It would suck if he middle name was “Kevin.”
Jay: Ohhhhh … Yeah, that would be bad.
Matt: What is his middle name?
Jay: Wikipedia says he doesn’t have one.
Matt: A likely story.
Jay: Totally. His initials were probably “KKK.”
Matt: Yup. I bet he dropped the middle name.
Jay: Good move on his part.
Matt: He’s always been media savvy.
Jay: Okay then … Hangover Show?
Matt: Let’s do it.
Jay: Great, I’ll get started creating one right now.
Matt: Me too!

There ya go! The hilarity never ends around here. Be sure to tune into The Hangover Show on I’m With Stupid on Sunday at 12 Noon Eastern!

Matt Said, Jay Said XLIV (Plus Schmoop!)

Matt pourparlers, Jay pourparlers, You écouter.

Matt: John Freaking Roberts
Jay: I guess he hates America.
Matt: Commie Bastard!
Jay: Helping the secret Muslim destroy this country!
Matt: It’s pretty hilarious though.
Jay: Comedy GOLD!
Matt: I only have one question about Obamacare.
Jay: Does it cover that burning sensation when you pee?
Matt: Okay, two questions.
Jay: What’s the other one?
Matt: Is it retroactive so it will cover past unpaid medical bills?
Jay: If that Fascist John Roberts has his way it will be!
Matt: That would be nice.

Matt: You know what you should do?
Jay: I’m afraid to ask.
Matt: You should marry .
Jay: Ummm … Why?
Matt: It would be good for you.
Jay: But, it wouldn’t be good for her.
Matt: Not true. And, you could also be daddy to her kids.
Jay: No. No. No. No I couldn’t.
Matt: You’d be a great dad.
Jay: Until I had to be responsible.
Matt: Here, talk to Schmoop for a minute.

Schmoop: Howdy!
Jay: Hola Schmoopalicious!
Schmoop: You don’t want to be daddy?
Jay: I can barely take care of myself.
Schmoop: And kids suck.
Jay: And I can’t even remember shit at the store. I’d forget to pick them up.
Schmoop: That’s true. Poor kids.
Jay: I’d be home, drinking beer and be like “Oh damn kids, I forgot, sorry.”
Schmoop: Kids are sensitive to that sort of thing.
Jay: IKR? Then I would try to make it up to them.
Schmoop: Trying to buy their love?
Jay: I’d be like “I didn’t mean to forget you. Here, come sit on New Daddy’s lap.”
Schmoop: Uhhhhh … MAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTT!

Matt: Huh, Schmoop just went straight to bed.
Jay: Must be sleepy.
Matt: I guess so. She looked a little disturbed.
Jay: I dunno.
Matt: I have a show topic.
Jay: What’s that?
Matt: Sunday is Canada Day!
Jay: Sweet! We can celebrate all the great Canadians!
Matt: Like Pamela Anderson!
Jay: Shania Twain!
Matt: Ellen Page!
Jay: Tom Green!
Matt: Ewwwww. You kinda ruined the whole thing.
Jay: Well, we can still celebrate Canada.
Matt: We can do it!
Jay: Alright, that was easy enough!
Matt: Another HUGE show coming up!
Jay: Yup. Okay then. I guess we’re set.
Matt: Yeah, I better go check on Schmoop.
Jay: I’m sure she’s fine.

So, there you go. Check out I’m With Stupid on Sunday for a very special “Oh Canada” episode. We’ll celebrate everything that is great about our good friends to the north!

Matt Said, Jay Said XLI

Matt השיחות, Jay השיחות, You להקשיב.

Matt: “For what possible reason could you be disturbing my evening?”
Jay: “I don’t need a reason. I just do what I want, WHEN I want.”
Matt: “Well, that doesn’t make it right.”
Jay: “And what important activity did you have planned?”
Matt: “I’m sitting here watching Schmoop eat dinner.”
Jay: “That’s hot. What is she eating?”
Matt: “Some beans, a mini burger and some potato salad.”
Jay: “Mmm .. Wait, is it REAL potato salad?”
Matt: “No, it’s store bought.”
Jay: “No, I mean does it actually have potatoes?”
Matt: “Oh yeah, it’s not broccoli and lima bean salad.”
Jay: “Thank God.”

Jay: “So how did your anniversary go?”
Matt: “Oh just wonderful.”
Jay: “Great!”
Matt: “Yeah, it was … just … great.”
Jay: “That’s good to hear.”
Matt: “Mm-Hmm”
Jay: “Yup”
Matt: “Special day.”
Jay: “Totally.”
*awkward silence*
Jay: “Well, alrighty then!”
Matt: “Oh yeah!”

Jay: “So … You won’t be available for next Wednesday’s show?”
Matt: “Nope, I’ll have to cover for Drive By Mikey.”
Jay: “Hmmm … Well, maybe we just won’t have a show that day.”
Matt: “You could do the show by yourself.”
Jay: “Ha! My bladder is getting nervous just at the suggestion!”
Matt: “Okay, TMI, but you could get a special guest host.”
Jay: “Maybe, we’ll see.”
Matt: “Whatever you want to do.”
Jay: “If I get a special guest host you could still call in from the Beer Mine.”
Matt: “Yeah, and I got a cell phone.”
Jay: “Cool. What’s the number?”
Matt: “I don’t know.”
Jay: “Might want to find that out.”
Matt: “I got it from Wild Bill today. I’ll have to learn all about and how it works.”
Jay: “Oh okay.”

*Lots of discussion about how is so fucking smoking hot. Some discussion about how is an asshole. Slight disagreement over the hotness level of .*

Jay: “Okay then that’s about all I’ve got.”
Matt: “Alright Jayman.”
Jay: “Enjoy your evening Mattcicle.”
Matt: I will and you …. OH HEY!”
Jay: “Yes?”
Matt: “What about Sunday’s show?”
Jay: “Oh right, show prep! Uh, I was thinking Joke Show Part 2 …”
Matt: “That’s not bad right there.”
Jay: “Or your idea of “What Women Want.”
Matt: “Oh that’s a better idea!”
Jay: “Yeah, What Women Want fits our area of expertise better.”
Matt: “Damn right!”
Jay: “Okay, we’re set!”
Matt: “Gonna be HUGE!”
Jay: “Hell yeah! Night-Night Pookie.”
Matt: “Okay, night Sassy Pants.”

And that’s how the magic is made kids. Be sure to join us for “What Women Want” on I’m With Stupid Sunday at 12 Noon ET!

Matt Said Jay Said XXXIX

Matt 会談, Jay 会談, You 聞く.

Matt: “You again? This is getting to be a habit.”
Jay: “I’m a man of many bad habits.”
Matt: “Don’t share them with me you sick fuck.”
Jay: “I’m sure you already dream about ‘em.”
Matt: “I’ll dream about my final Google Image Search of the night.”
Jay: “Midget porn?”
Matt: “Noooo”
Jay: “Clown porn?”
Matt: “Horrifying!”
Jay:  “IKR?! Just mentioning it will leave me scarred for life.”
Matt: “No, I search ‘Pizza.’”
Jay: “Mmmmmm … Cheese oozing off the sides.”
Matt: “I really don’t like the word ‘ooze’ if you don’t mind, but greasy is sexy.”

Jay: “Our Mother’s Day show is #4!!”
Matt: “We’re blowing up!”
Jay: “We’re, as the kids say, killin it!”
Matt: “Do they say that?”
Jay: “Of course they do.”
Matt: “I’ll take your word for it.”
Jay: “I have my finger on the pulse of pop culture and all that stuff.”
Matt: “Be careful where you put that thing.”
Jay: “I’ve always been super careful ever since that incident in grade school.”

Matt: “OH MY GOD!”
Jay: “I’m joking. Sheesh.”
Matt: “No, no that. Schmoop is devouring some chicken nuggets and fries.”
Jay: “That’s hot!”
Matt: “Yes it is! She’s so aggressive.”
Jay: “Like a lioness tearing into a zebra?”
Matt: “Kinda.”
Jay: “You need to get some video.”
Matt: “She would be famous.”
Jay: “I’m gonna dream about THAT tonight.”
Matt: “You and me both.”

Matt: “I have a couple of ideas for this Sunday.”
Jay: “Lay it on me stud.”
Matt: “You know Mitch Albom’s 7 People You Meet in Heaven?”
Jay: “I hate him, but go on.”
Mat: “Well, we could do People You Meet on Earth.”
Jay: “You mean people who influenced us in some way.”
Matt: “Yeah!”
Jay: “Like good advice and mentored us and shit.”
Matt: “Exactly. Or bad advice.”
Jay: “And we can pay if forward with our own great advice.”
Matt: “If we have any.”
Jay: “We’ll think of some by Sunday.”
Matt: “Sounds good!”
Jay: “Another MONSTER show coming up!”
Matt: “That’s hot.”

And there you go kids, another sneak peek into the world of IWS staff meetings. Be sure to catch us LIVE on I’m With Stupid this and every Sunday at 12 Noon ET talking about great advice and all that stuff. It’s gonna be fun!  

Mat Said Jay Said XXXII

Matt переговоры, Jay переговоры, You слушать.

Matt: “Why hello there young man!”
Jay: “Howdy Do!”
Matt: *bang* “Owe! Damn!”
Jay: “What the hell man?”
Matt: “I just banged my knee on the desk.”
Jay: “Dumb ass.”
Matt: “That was hurtful.”
Jay: “Well yeah, the knee is sensitive.”
Matt: “I was talking about YOU.”
Jay: “Me?? Insensitive? No way, I’m sweet ask anyone.”
Matt: “Oh I know. I’ve heard non-stop how sweet you are.”
Jay: “See?”
Matt: “And I’m thinking it’s about time to set the record STRAIGHT!”
Jay: “Now THAT hurts.”

Jay: “We have decent blog traffic, but we need more comments.”
Matt: “I agree. Comments and interacting with people is part of the fun.”
Jay: “Of course, you know the only way to get comments…”
Matt: “I know, we have to comment on other blogs more.”
Jay: “So, I was thinking we could assign each of us blogs to comment on.”
Matt: “How many”
Jay: “I don’t know. Like 5 or 6 each day, but not the same ones every day.”
Matt: “Oh yeah, that way there’s no overlap and we can hit lots of blogs.”
Jay: “Right.”
Matt: “Okay, we should find blogs we like and then figure out the schedule.”
Jay: “Good idea. I’ll take the blogs written by Asian chicks.”
Matt: “Ha! Of course you will!”
Jay: “You can have all the longwinded people who write like 2,000 words a day.”
Matt: “Uh, I think we might need to balance this out a bit.”
Jay: “Oh, okay. That’s cool. I’m all about fairness.”

Jay: “So Dana and Mike are coming on to talk May-December relationships.”
Matt: “Will Mike be out of his Sunday School class in time?”
Jay: “Yeah, the youngest go early.”
Matt: “Excellent!”
Jay: “At the pace we’re going, we might run out of jokes before the show.”
Matt: “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
Jay: “I’m sure we’ll have enough ammo.”
Matt: “I can make juvenile jokes to infinity.”
Jay: “That’s why you’re so popular.”
Matt: “It’s almost a burden.”
Jay: “I have no doubt.”
Matt: “So we’ll “Rock the Cradle of Love?”
Jay: “Yup, and Dana can talk about being a Cougar.”
Matt: “This is gonna be a HUGE show!”
Jay: “Even by our standards, this will be pretty big!”

Alright folks, more genius in action right there. And don’t forget that we will Rock the Cradle of Love on Sunday at 12 Noon ET on I’m With Stupid. We’ll have Dana and Mike on to discuss dating someone who is wayyy older and/or younger than you. It should be fascinating and quite possibly full of really juvenile jokes. But, mostly informative and interesting. Hopefully. Maybe. 

Matt Said, Jay Said XVII

Matt sgyrsiau, Jay sgyrsiau, You gwrando.

Matt: “Look, Tyra I told you it’s over. You gotta stop calling me.”
Jay: “Wha?”
Matt: “Oh it’s you.”
Jay: “Who did you expect?”
Matt: “Tyra Banks. Every couple of months she calls me begging me to take her back.”
Jay: “Poor Tyra.”
Matt: “I used to feel sorry for her, but she so needy.”
Jay: “Oh man. I hate that.”
Matt: “It’s just part of the struggle that is my life.”
Jay: “It ain’t easy being Matt.”
Matt: “True dat. True dat.”
Jay: “Mmmm-Hmmm”
Matt: “Yup”

Jay: “So how ya doing?”
Matt: “Awful. Just awful.”
Jay: “Awww. That sucks.”
Matt: “Yeah it does. This cold is kicking my ass.”
Jay: “It’s Al Gore’s fault.”
Matt: “How?”
Jay: “He created Global Warming. Warm winter means worse cold & flu season.”
Matt: “That fucking bastard.”
Jay: “I KNOW RIGHT? He totally caused this. I read it on the internet.”
Matt: “Well, I’d like to kick him in the balls.”
Jay: “He deserves it.”

Jay: “How’s the no bread thing going so far.”
Matt: “Not too bad. It’s early still though.”
Jay: “It’ll get old fast though.”
Matt: “True. How’s the walking and stuff going?”
Jay: “Not bad. Shoulders and arms are sore from the weights.”
Matt: “It’ll get better.”
Jay: “Hope so, I can barely type.”
Matt: “Do you listen to the theme from Rocky?”
Jay: “No, I listen to this: *plays “You make me feel like dancing” by Leo Sayer”
Matt: “Ha! Of course. And now I have to play that for Schmoop.”
Jay: “Folow it up with: *plays “Boogie Shoes” K.C & the Sunshine Band.”
Matt: “Okay, stop.”
Jay: “You don’t want to lay down the boogie and play that funky music White Boy?”
Matt: “Not at this time, no.”
Jay: “Okay, I guess.”

Matt: “So, we doing an 80’s Extravaganza this week?”
Jay: “Sounds like a great idea.”
Matt: “The 80’s so ruled.”
Jay: “Totally. Great memories!”
Matt: “Oh yeah. Great music, movies, hell, everything.”
Jay: “Wonderful time to be a live.”
Matt: “It was!”
Jay: “Okay, I’ll be so rad!”
Matt: “Totally awesome!”
Jay: “I’m stoked!”

So there you go. True genius as it happened in real time. More or less. And don’t forget to listen to our “80s Extravaganza” on Saturday at 11 PM ET on I’m With Stupid. It’s gonna be so awesome. Even more so if you’re there.

And, to get you into the mood, here is our Kick Ash Wednesday show that was really pretty freaking fun. We talked Ash Wednesday, Lent, Atheism, Veganism and all kinds of other stuff all while battling colds. We are true professionals and we do it all for YOU! 

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said XVI

Matt 会談, Jay 会談, You 聞く.

Matt: “Matt here”
Jay: “BOOBIES!”
Matt: “BOOBIES!”
Jay: “Jay calling, how ya doing?”
Matt: “Matt is doing great, how is Jay?”
Jay: “Jay is fantastic! Jay thanks you for asking.”
Matt: “Matt is very happy that you’re doing well.”
Jay: “And Jay is happy that Matt is happy.”

Jay: “So, Jay was thinking.”
Matt: “This concerns Matt.”
Jay: “Well, now that we have a new logo, Jay thought we should freshen up the show more.”
Matt: “Matt is listening, but not sure he likes where this is going.
Jay: “Well, Jay thought we could do new intro music.”
Matt: “MATT KNEW IT! HE JUST KNEW IT!”
Jay: “Now stay calm, Jay likes our intro.”
Matt: “Matt worked hard on that intro.”
Jay: “Jay knows that, but …”
Matt: “Matt doesn’t want to hear the ‘butt …’”
Jay: “Jay thought maybe something new and, you know, original.”
Matt: “ORIGINAL?? MATT IS REALLY HURT.”
Jay: “No, ‘original’ as in not someone else’s music or whatever.”
Matt: “Oh, okay. Matt still isn’t too happy.”
Jay: “Jay understands, but we want to keep things fresh, ya know.”
Matt: “No, Matt doesn’t know.”
Jay: “Jay knew Matt would make this difficult.”
Matt: “Matt is so insulted.”
Jay: “Oh he is not.”
Matt: “Well, still ... Matt doesn’t like change.”
Jay: “Jay isn’t afraid of change.”
Matt: “Really? Well Matt will do a new opening and just upload it.”
Jay: “Well, Jay is a little afraid of change sometimes.”
Matt: “Uh-huh.”

Matt: “So Third Person show this week?”
Jay: “Jay thinks it will be hilarious.”
Matt: “And different.”
Jay: “And challenging.”
Matt: “And fucking annoying!”
Jay: “That’s what Jay loves about it.”
Matt: “Matt does too!”
Jay: “But we need topics.”
Matt: “How social media makes Matt and Jay sad and happy works.”
Jay: “Jay agrees. Also, maybe other current events or whatever.”
Matt: “Yeah, Matt likes that too. Maybe birth control.”
Jay: “Yeah, Jay noticed that contraceptives are the big topic of the day.”
Matt: “And maybe something else will happen before Saturday.”
Jay: “Whitney’s funeral!”
Matt: “Oh yeah, Matt loves to talk about Whitney!”
Jay: “Okay, Social Media Extravaganza in Third Person it is.”
Matt: “Matt likes it!”
Jay: “Jay does too!”

So there you go! This Saturday at 11 PM Eastern Matt and Jay will talk about Social Media, Current Events, Whitney and just whatever else we can think of on I’m With Stupid. Be there for all the hijinks and hilarity.

And if you need something to do until the show, just listen to Wednesday’s show where we waded into the Culture Wars! Oh yeah baby! It was awesome!

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Matt Said, Jay Said XV

Matt ceramah, Jay ceramah, You mendengar.

Matt: “Hello”
Jay: “Hey there Matt.”
Matt: “Oh hi Jay.”
Jay: “How ya doing?”
Matt: “Good. You?”
Jay: “Oh pretty good.”
Matt: “That’s good to hear.”
Jay: “And Schmoop?”
Matt: “She’s doing great.”
Jay: “Awesome!”
Matt: “Yeah. And the Jaymom?”
Jay: “She’s great too. Excited that might actually get cold this weekend.”
Matt: “Oh well I hope it does then.”
Jay: “Yeah”
Matt: “Mm-Hmm”
Jay: “Yuuup”
Matt: “Well, okay I guess.”
Jay: “Yeah, hey, have a good day dude.”
Matt: “Oh you too! You too!”
Jay: “Thanks.”
Matt: “Anytime. Later.”
Jay: “Bye.” 

Jay: “Oh hey! Before you go...”
Matt: “Yes?”
Jay: “Boobs”
Matt: “Boobs?”
Jay: “Boooooooooobieeeeeeeees”
Matt: “I like ‘em. Why do you ask?”
Jay: “That’s our show this week. Celebrating Boobies.”
Matt: “A whole show about boobies?”
Jay: “Sure, why not?”
Matt: “Just 45 minutes of talking about boobies?”
Jay: “Yeah. Everybody loves boobs. Big boobs, small boobs, perky, droopy ...”
Matt: “I don’t like it.”
Jay: “YOU DON’T?”
Matt: “No. I FREAKING LOVE IT!”
Jay: “HELL YEAH!”

There you go again kids. High quality, intense and down right brilliant show prep in action. There’s no wondering why they call us “The hardest working guys in internet radio” when you see something like this.

And, be sure to join us as we Celebrate Boobies on Saturday at 11 PM ET on I’m With Stupid. As a part of the show, Matt-Man and Jayman will debate Small vs Big Boobies. We have a slight differing of opinion on this topic. We will also talka bout body image and some of the great boobies we seen and would like to see. Spoiler Alert: We’d like to see every woman’s boobs.

So be sure to join us and call in with your thoughts on boobies too. And, then listen in the archives anytime you feel like it 24/7!

Matt Said, Jay Said III

And once again Saturday brings us another round of “Matt Said, Jay Said”

Matt: “You speak, me speak.”
Jay: “Holaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Wot’s hoppenin’ hot stuff?”
Matt: “Noting. Not a thing. Not a modicum. Not an ORT!”
Jay: “Okay then. Good talking to ya.”

Matt: “I’ve got a case of the blahs”
Jay: “Awww. I’m sorry.”
Matt: “Thanks for your obviously heartfelt concern.”
Jay: “Hey, I was being sincere. Why so glum chum?”
Matt: “I tweaked my back. I think I pinched a nerve cause the pain runs down my leg.”
Jay: “Might be your sciatica?”
Matt: “Just my lumbago!”

Jay: “Finally heard from Sunshine State Shirley. Three straight 16 hour days for her.”
Matt: “That’s rough. I did help you out with her.”
Jay: “Oh really?”
Matt: “Yeah, she said she was gonna get help on fantasy football from you and I let her know what a scheming deceiver of women you are.”
Jay: “Well, thanks man. Very helpful.”
Matt: “That’s what I’m here for buddy.”
Jay: “Well, I’m sure a woman of SSS’s education can easily tell when someone is just projecting.”

Jay: “Hey, is posting pics on Twitter again. Better check it out.”
Matt: “I can’t do it. I just can’t.”
Jay: “I can’t resist. *clicks link* OHHHHHHHHHHHH .. uh Hey! Click that link dude.”
Matt: “I don’t want to.”
Jay: “You gotta.”
Matt: “Okay. *clicks link* AHHHHHH I HATE THAT ONE!!!
Jay: heehee "I know"
Matt: “You’re cruel”

Jay: “So Beat Poetry this week?”
Matt: “Oh yeah.”
Jay: “And then whatever on Monday”
Matt: “We already have a topic. Remember? We have topics for the next two weeks.”
Jay: “We do? Wait. Oh it’s labor day.”
Matt: “Yeah, unions and organizing on Monday, football next Saturday and 9/11 on the 12^th”
Jay: “Right. That sounds good.”
Matt: “Now write that down.”
Jay: “Naw, I’ll remember.”

Jay: “Did you see Nancy Grace on Dancing With the Stars?”
Matt: “Yeah, I saw that. Some guy is going to have to touch her.”
Jay: “Hell, even Chaz Bono is more feminine than Nancy.”
Matt: “Hey-OOOOOO!”
Jay: “The fact that Chaz Bono might get to touch Cheryl Burke proves there is no God.”
Matt: “Totally unfair.”
Jay: “I know. Okay, Beat Poetry?”
Matt: “I’ve already started preparing for this Saturday.”
Jay: “Already writing some poems?”
Matt: “No, but I’m yearning which is a start.”
Jay: “Oh hell then. We’re ready dude!” 

So there you go. Another brilliant prep session! And don’t forget that we will be doing our own, original Beat Poetry Night on I’m With Stupid at 6:30 EDT!