They're Coming After Our Happiness

Hola Happy People! It’s March Madness time again! Oh yeah baby! Hours and hours of college basketball started yesterday and will continue for three weeks. Or is it four. Hell, it might be five, I don’t know.

What I do know is that this means we will be inundated with stories about how much the NCAA Tournament costs companies in lost productivity. Every year it’s the same. And every year it’s pretty much bullshit. If you listen to these people you’d think that the average American worker just screws his employer over on a daily basis. According to articles written in publications and discussed on cable news channels owned by HUGE corporations, Americans are so fucking underworked and overpaid it’s just ridiculous.

Along with that, we’ll also get all kinds of stories of police departments all over the country raiding people’s homes and arresting them for running a NCAA Tourney Pool. And then they’ll act like they busted the fucking Corleone family and shut down the gambling rackets.

God forbid you should have a little fucking enjoyment out of life. If you put five bucks into a tournament pool and pick the games with hopes of winning the astronomical sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS, then we’ll bring the entire weight of our armed police forces down on you. Then prosecute you using our army of publicity (and higher office) seeking prosecutors with nearly unlimited resources.

Politicians love to talk about “liberties” being under assault. And while that’s true there’s something else that is under a full frontal assault in this country:

Our Happiness.

More than anything else it’s the things that make us happy, or give us pleasure, that politicians and do-gooder groups are going after. People like Rick Santorum and his promise to have the government go after pornography, Mika Brzezinski and Michael Bloomberg’s Food Police and other groups on the left who go after smokers, and on the right who go after drinking and gambling are trampling on your pursuit of happiness. They’re so afraid that you might be getting a little pleasure out of life and they’re bound and determined to stop it.

There are still others who think you might be getting too much enjoyment out of the internet and would like to heavily regulate it. Some people think you shouldn’t be allowed to watch certain TV shows even on premium channels. Hell, some groups don’t even want you to see certain comic strips because they’re dealing with subjects THEY are uncomfortable with.

These people won’t be happy until we’re all completely miserable. Oh, and until they have full control over every aspect of our lives. I swear, they make me want to light up a cigarette (or a doobie), open a bottle of Wild Irish Rose and watch a dirty movie on my computer while also watching Good Christian Bitches on TV and munching down on a HUGE all meat pizza all while placing a bet on a basketball game with my bookie and getting a hummer from a prostitute.

Okay, maybe that’s a little extreme and “all things in moderation” and some of those things are illegal, but who fucking cares! More than anything else we should be sure not to let these politicians and do-gooders take away our happiness while claiming to be “protecting our liberties”. And, most importantly, we shouldn’t let them doing it in the name of "morality"

Jayman
jayman3768@gmail.com
@Jayman_IWS

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Speaking of being happy and we were, Sunday on I’m With Stupid Matt-Man and I brought the happy on “The Feel Good Show!” We talked about people place and things that make us happy. We talked about making other people happy and how that makes us happy. And we even talked about how just seeing our friends happy actually makes us happy.

Try as we might, we couldn’t get anyone to call in and be happy with us, which was a little sad, but we’re professionals so we kept up the feel good attitude all the way through. And, of course we made EVERYONE happy by having another Pee Break with Schmoop segment.

So, help spread the happy by listening early and often. As always, we appreciate your listening.

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